Housekeeping 1: Ten Things

My blog has been much neglected as of late, so there is a little housekeeping to do. This is not one of my favorite things to do (you know, the posts you get tagged in), so here goes. This should have been done a couple weeks ago, but due to lethargy, feeling not so well, and a general lack of upkeep, I'm just now getting around to it.

Thanks to the passing of the torch by the lovely Lolly's post on Oh My, Lolly! from here, as well as being pinged by Bron over here, I have to get to overshare some things with you that you really didn't want to know, and I'm oh so very excited about it kill me now so here are 10 things.

1. Anything that you say that I even slightly disagree with, I will dig as much as I can to find a counter-argument, no matter how much I like you. If I dislike you, I will intensify my search. 
2. I love to douse things in Ranch dressing. I guess it's a Texas thing, and I didn't pick it up til I moved to Dallas-Fort Worth, but fried chicken, pizza, salad, bacon cheddar fries, everything is better with Ranch. 
3. I will try to outdo you on anything. If you read two books a day, I will read three. If you run 5 miles a day, I might be panting and dying, in need of hospitalization, but I'll be damned if I let you run farther, I'll run 5.25.  I swear, I will outdo you. Do not try to compete with me. That is, unless you're talking about waking up in the morning. Then you can wake up as early as you want, because I'll be damned if I'm waking up any earlier than I please unless it's some sort of emergency (or, like, a job or something).
4. If you do something wrong, I will make sure people find out. I have morals and values, and I don't like being disrespected. If you disrespect me enough to think that I will go against my morals and values to let you get away with something, you thought wrong honey. Everyone will know. I'm a bit of an honest person.
5.  I kind of want to be single. At first it was a state of people not really wanting to be around me, and I questioned it. Then it was a state of really not questioning it, even though I kind of would have liked to have someone around me. Then it became a thing of not wanting to be with someone, thanks to a few people who kind of ruined it for me. 
6. I tend to correct things. If there's a spelling error, I'll point to it. If there's a syntax error, I'll oust it. If you do something at the wrong time, or in the wrong way, I'll generally say something, unless it's kind of funny, then I'll let you continue to do the wrong thing. Same applies if you tell me you don't like to be corrected. I'll stand back and....well, not correct you. You asked me to not do so. It's your fault, not mine. 
7. I don't talk to machines. If you see that I called you, I probably didn't leave you a message. I also don't respond to awkward messages, or "k". If I don't respond, it was probably an awkward message. If I don't get a response from you, I assume we have finished the conversation. Unless I have some sort of mission in my conversation, they tend to be slightly awkward. I can do conversations for a work purpose (like ones for my internship were not all that hard), but when it comes to impromptu, I'm very socially awkward, but I try. I want that appreciated, too.
8. I'm a little attached to my electronics. Try to take them away and you might be attacked. Perhaps literally. I'm not sure, nobody has tried, and I hope they don't ever try, because I don't want to see what my reaction would be.
9. I am an organized mess. I am obsessive-compulsive, and even though my room looks like a complete mess, which it does, the majority of the time, I know where to find the most important things. I have my own system and if you mess with my system it makes me very unhappy. Things must be the same for me or I am very unhappy about it. Don't move my bed or my nightstand or anything else. I'm still adjusting to the change in arrangement I made in my room back in August. 
10. I hate making lists and being tagged in lists, and I will put off actually following through with the tasks involved in the lists. Furthermore, I will often decline tagging other people in the list because I know of the arduous tasks involved in making these lists, and often the people I want to tag are already tagged anyway (as in this case). Thereby, I have nobody left to tag, but feel free to participate if you have not seen this list and wish to participate. 

The next blog, which I hope to pick up tomorrow (or sometime soon) will be picking up two more versatile blogger awards (I've got 4 total versatile blogger awards, and no others....odd?) and passing on the torch (again) to more bloggers (good grief). I hope I feel up to it. This one has taken me several weeks (no, really) to finally feel up to finishing. It's the only one I've posted this month. I'm feeling proud of myself...not really. Just tired. G'nite world

Versatile blogger but still a failure at life

So, today was one of those days with an up-down kind of trend. I woke up this morning to find that one of the bloggers I follow, Lauren, has put me on the list of bloggers to whom she gave the "Versatile Blogger" award (ZOMG I was so shocked and excited!!) in her blog written Sunday. That was enough to keep me going most of the day....I got an award!! Yay!!

With the award, I must reveal dirty secrets give some random facts about myself.

1) I was born without tonsils. I've also been told I don't have wisdom teeth.
2) I lived in more places the first 6 years of my life than in the most recent 17
3) I don't like Chinese food, Asian food in general, spicy food, the majority of seafood, the majority of vegetables, Mexican food, beans, most things that have milk in them (yogurt, milk alone, I'll tolerate milk chocolate, love cheese...), most types of soda, and ICE.
4) I miss my brother.
5) My mini-Christmas tree is still assembled on my desk
6) Up until Christmas, I still had a TV/VCR combo in my room, without an attached DVD player. Old school!!
7) My clothes never make it into my closet. They might get folded or put on a hanger, but they usually end up elsewhere on a chair or something.
8) I was near to flunking out of college for a couple years because of extenuating circumstances
9) I like Aeropostale because they were established in 1987, my birth year, so I can have my birth year all over my clothes
10) I am a bookaholic and should probably also receive help for my internet addiction....

That completes 2/3 requirements:

• Requirement 1: Tell everyone who I received this award from (Lauren at The Blog You're About To Read)
• Requirement 2: Tell everyone my dirty secrets random facts
• Requirement 3: Pay it forward- give this award to seven others whom I think are totally frikken awesome & deserve it

So, my nominees are (I don't have many connections, so some of these might already have awards because they're so awesome, and if you're not included....I still love you). Because I read the blogs (blargs, in some cases) I love. But I'm limited to seven...:

1. Ah, the Possiblities!
2. Unladylike Behavior
3. I'd like cheese on my entire family!
4. Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock At A Time
5. Mumstrosity
6. Simply Kate
7. Woogsworld

Alright, that makes seven. Now I shall bore you with the rest of my day, including my rage that ensued from my horrible presentation.

Well, actually, my internship was pretty much normal as far as incidents go. Aside from the tornado sirens that started as I was leaving town, the day was pretty much incident-free. I still hate that they're moving things around and changing some of the functions within the program, but I guess it's worth a shot, right? We also discussed summer plans and my schedule, just for planning purposes.

Then I went to school. Today was that presentation that counts for quite a percentage of my grade. Of all the students, I was THE ONE she called out (and cut my presentation short). I didn't get to finish. She said we were short on time. All the other presenters went without anything being said. I tried to show her that I had ONE SINGLE slide left, but she's probably going to count off for a) wanting to continue presenting, and b) the material that wasn't presented; because she didn't see it, she's going to assume it's not there, and I'll be extremely, perhaps overly, upset over it. I was crying trying to get her to listen to me, but she was cold-hearted and cruel, ignoring everything I said.

Honestly, I think she didn't like me from day one. I asked a lot of questions over the semester. I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing. I think that annoyed her. Argh. Now, when it comes time for grades, she's gonna be uber pissed, and probably mark off as many points as she can. And I'll do poorly in the class because of it. Thankfully, I don't have to have her class next semester, because she only teaches the first seminar. Unfortunately, her opinion will factor into my GPA and leave a big red pimple on the beauty that is my Social Work GPA. *scowl* and I worked so hard for that class!

Why is it that when I work hard for something, I end up failing? I don't get it. Reminds me of this song I used to listen to years ago with my then-best friend- Linkin' Park "In the End"

I tried so hard, and got so far

But in the end, it doesn't even matter

Sound about right? Yep. I've been working hard my entire university career. I worked hard at my jobs. I always work hard. I don't just sit off and observe, or do a halfway job. I put everything into the things that I do. And it hurts tremendously when I fail. I'm sure (or at least I hope) I'm not the only one like this. It just is painful to put so much of yourself into something only to fail.

Why must I fail? I guess that's the natural order of things. It's taken me six years to finish a four year degree. I've held 2 full-time jobs, a volunteer type job for a bit, and now an internship. I never stopped going to school, but for a while, I was tiptoeing the line toward being kicked out. I went to class and completed the assignments, but always fell short. Especially in the sciences and history/politics. I'm sure that would have been the case with English and Math too, had I been required to take them (I tested out in high school with the AP exams). It's hard to not get down on yourself when this is the kind of stuff you face.

I was class salutatorian in high school, and Ms. I-do-everything-under-the-sun. I was smart. Of course, I was hiding the fact that secretly, I wasn't happy with my life at all, I was doing as many things as I could to make it look like I was happy.

Then I went to college. I started failing things. I got less involved. I never made any (close) friends once we moved here whilst I was still in high school, and I haven't made any (close) college friends....just some acquaintances that seem to fall off the face of the planet once the semester I am taking a class with them ends. You know, those people you talk to, but once the semester is over, their number changes, or they stop responding to you? Yea, I've got a lot of those.

Anyway, I have an economics exam tomorrow, and a psych exam to type up tomorrow after I'm done studying, so....I guess this is it. All I have to say. See how interesting I am (not)? Auf weidersehen.