A Little Bit of Stubborn

Today, I had the opportunity to be one of the carriers of things to my sister at the high school for her marching band practice (yay for marching band!). Lucky little chick. I discovered when I got there I was not the only one- my dad was sitting directly behind me in the car park- with her dinner. I had her water. Spoiled rotten chick!! I love her the same. Where was my older sister? Oh yeah, I didn't have one...oh well, I can drive myself places now, so *check* I'm good.

Tonight is the first home football game for the Fighting Owls. You can bet I'll be there- to chat with old teachers and friends that may haphazardly show up, seeing as it's six years after graduation- I know of one teacher that will be there, proudly, but most of the people who went there have moved on to better endeavors. He still teaches there, and has a daughter there *and a lot of school pride, and shows up at every game, regardless of whether his daughter or any other relative is in the show*

It'll be nice the next few days, because we'll finally see a break in the 100+ degree temperatures...can I get a woot woot? Monday's high is forecast at 89...cold front!!! Break out the winter coats everyone!!! (Just kidding on that front...pun intended)

On that note...since when does the new month define a change in season? I was always taught that the autumnal equinox meant autumn, so the whole "September means it's fall" thing is news to me. Especially since it's still over 100 degrees for a portion of September, and over 90 degrees for another good portion. Then the winter solstice is supposed to be the beginning of winter, correct?

I know that people define "winter" by the beginning of the holiday season, which falls very close to the end of November because it tends to fall just before my birthday, sometimes on my birthday *cringe BlackFriday cringe* and then comes December, often snow. Perhaps I'm a bit old-fashioned and dead set in my ways, but this is how I define seasons- Spring Equinox, Summer Solstice, Autumnal Solstice, Winter Equinox. Not just months picked and chosen by their relative hot/coldness.

This is the way I will stick to, the way I was taught, although trends may state otherwise. People may tell me happy spring and I'll say "tell me that when it's really spring" because I'm not that trend follower. I may follow other trends, but not this one. As such, school returns in summer, but that's ok. School has always returned in the summer, in my mind- you know, with band camp and such- but even when there wasn't band camp. Winter break always starts in the autumn. I hate the way people define this stuff, society is so single and simple minded, making things easier for those who can't think about complex things- what's so complex about the winter solstice being on December 21?

Thank you, facebook, for inspiring a little bit of bitterness in me, but that's ok, because I'll get over it. I know that I have my ways, and I'll always have my ways, and that people will always define things a little bit differently than I do. They always have. I'm a little bit stubborn. I have people that can and will vouch for that. Stubbornness can be a good quality, when applied appropriately....or neutral, not a bother. In this case, I don't think it really matters when I define the beginning of a season, as long as I'm not a hard ass about it, which I'm not. I don't push and shove people into my will. I just nonchalantly tell people what I believe and leave it at that.

Is there anything you're stubborn about? Is there anything you believe others define differently than you do? And what kind of plans do you have for the upcoming season (whether it's spring or autumn)?

Keeping Time, Time, Time

The title is a bridge from a song I had to learn for a competition in high school- don't worry if you don't know it. It's just one that's stuck with me, from the rhythmic features of it, and it seems appropriate. I just happened to be thinking about time tonight, and how it's been affecting me lately. It seems so strange that August is almost over, and I'm still sitting in the house. It seems so strange that so much time can pass by so quickly, and I don't even notice it.

It seems so strange that it can feel like I started at the university just yesterday, and I've earned my degree.

It seems so strange that I can be singing a song from high school- even stranger, a song from when I was in high school in KILLEEN- that was in 2001, friends, the year of the attacks on September 11- and remember the rhythm, words, and notes, verbatim. I was cleaning out a filing cabinet today, and found the narrative to a parody assignment we did at the end of that year in choir- just before we moved to the Fort Worth area- and I laughed. I could not believe I still had it, and I remembered, and texted Jasri, a friend who was in that group with whom the parody was written- she couldn't believe it either.

Time, it passes us so quickly. Within the blink of an eye, we go from giggly teenagers, to college students, to adults with bills and jobs, and we lose all of that (I must interject- I do not have bills or a job yet, but I know it's coming. Only a matter of time).

I pulled out my clock and plugged it back in today. I've not been keeping track of time- once we removed all the furniture from my room, I didn't have a clock plugged in, and simply neglected to plug my clock back in. I just put it back in place tonight and plugged it back in. I have one of those über cool clocks that resets itself when the power goes out...well, the power didn't go out, but it was unplugged for almost a week. The thing was, amazingly, still able to set itself correctly! Amazing! (no, this is not a plug for Emerson, but damn, amazing!)

I got this clock back before we moved to DFW, not sure of the exact date. Sadly, there is no copyright date on it, or the book which came with it (I found that today too!). The company, though, was still Emerson Research, as can be seen on the clock face, when I bought the clock. I liked it because it had blue numbers. That was what I wanted. Setting itself wasn't my concern at the time...but it's great that the company had a product back then that still works that great today! It keeps time....unlike me.

Sadly, I do not keep time well. I stay up half the night, and sleep in. Or, conversely, I get tired and go to sleep early, and wake up super early and try to find jobs, to no avail. My circadian rhythm....has no rhythm. Please, no metronomes. I hated them in high school marching band (colorguard....woot!!)...speaking of...flag!!

I still don't look much older....

The flag is still in my room. Colorguard is all about timing. Colorguard and choir were two things I could actually do the timing thing very well with. It's timing over time that I'm not very good at- if that makes any sense at all! I even went to state with choir, and got a medal...which is in a box that I haven't emptied yet...and our colorguard also won the North Texas Colorguard Association Championships the one year (on the same board in the same box and also hasn't been unearthed). One day, I will unearth my medal board- I have tons of them.

Time, time, time. I still have that song in my head. That word brings up so many topics, so many. Timed writing, timed music, timed spinning (colorguard), time of day, how much time I have in my life (a colorguard show, Ars Nova 2006), what I'm doing with my time in my life (not much really, sadly), time of day (my time is all mixed up)...and that song, it keeps playing in my head....oh, and thyme, the spice, too.

Keeping time, time, time in a sort of Runic rhyme, keeping time, keeping time, keeping time, keeping time, to the tin-tinabulation that so musically wells with the bells.....(where they came up with the lyrics, I have no idea, but oooook!)

Oh, and senior year--- "Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme, are you going to Scarborough Faire?" < I think they're gone for a bit. Maybe next year or something.

Me, actually at Scarborough Faire. No joke! (Summer 2010)

Write on Wednesday: Pique, Pirouette

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 10 - A Gift of Serendipity... Take Felicity's Word of the Week. Write it at the top of your page. Set your timer for 5 minutes. Write the first words that come into your head after the Word of the Week. Stop writing when the buzzer rings.

Felicity's Word of the Week is...

Piqued:
A state of vexation caused by a perceived slight or indignity; a feeling of wounded pride.tr.v. piqued, piqu·ing, piques
1. To cause to feel resentment or indignation.
2. To provoke; arouse: The portrait piqued her curiosity.
3. To pride (oneself): He piqued himself on his stylish attire.

When I see the word pique, it instantly reminds me of the word pirouette, which instantly takes me back to high school, when I was on the colorguard, an integral part of the marching band during football season, and a stand-alone activity during the winter months, which quite piqued my interest ;) lol. For anyone who hasn't ever seen a colorguard performance before, I'll link a youtube video below, of an amazing colorguard which I used to watch quite often. They used to practice in our gym; a few of the members of my guard went on to perform on Ars Nova after graduating from my high school- in fact, the interior designer (you'll hear, toward the end), is one of them; one of the instructors was also one of my instructors; Ars Nova and my guard had a very close relationship. Without further adieu, here is the video (the video is from 2006 competition, winterguard, where the guard performs independently):

My life has taken such a different turn since then. I always knew I wanted to do something that would help people; that was a given. Of course, back then, I didn't know what. I can see myself as a completely different person- I certainly miss that part of my life, and I've gone back, and tried to pick colorguard back up- to no avail. A completely different character. Another chapter in my life.

As I pirouette through each chapter, I never know what is to come in the next, and I find myself looking back, remembering the last chapter, wishing I could go back and change or maybe relive certain parts of each chapter, but also remembering that if I were to change it, maybe I wouldn't be where I am now.

I must move on, continue to grow, follow my interests, allow my interests to pique in new areas, but never forgetting the old, because good memories are fulfilling. The past, the present, the future, they all come together, weaving the person that is me. I know not what is to come, but I can dream and hope, create characters and look into my future, having hopes and desires, because in order to obtain something, I have to perceive and want it first. My interest is piqued at knowing or finding out what the future has in store.

Burger Pizza

I remember in high school, our secret "code" to talk to other guard members about our crushes was to call them our "burger".

First, let me explain colorguard, shortened to guard for those of us involved. We spun flags & rifles, and on rare occasions sabres (although some groups have a much more trained sabre line) for visual entertainment. It is one activity that I wish I could still participate in, because I met a lot of fun & interesting people I would have never met otherwise. During the winter season, we broke off into our own group (in the fall we marched with the marching band) to form a group of our own, winterguard.

My time with the color and winterguards were some of the best of my high school days. We all formed very strong bonds. Being as socially inept as I am (inept- according to Random House, lacking the ability or aptitude to complete a certain task), I wasn't as closely bonded as were the rest of the members. Don't get me wrong, we were friends, and they were my closest friends during those years, I just didn't fit into the clique as well. Nevertheless, as cocaptain for one year and being involved my junior and senior year, I was still close to the inner circle. These were also the times when I had the best of my high school memories, most of them also quite entertaining lol.

Back to burgers. If you had a crush on someone, you would call that person your "burger" once everyone (in colorguard) understood of whom you were speaking. We would ask things like "have you seen your burger today? Or say things like "hey, I saw your burger down the hall".

One particular member had a burger whom we talked abou frequently, although now, 6 years later, the name escapes me). For the friend's sake, I'll just refer to her as A. Well, there was a dinner my senior year where the foreign exchange students chose one student, whomever they wanted, usually one that had been particularly welcoming, friendly, or helpful. I don't remember whether it was Teresa or Carolin that had chosen me, but I was thrilled to be chosen.

It was quite funny that A had also been invited, as well as the person with whom she was head over heels, her burger. They were at opposite ends of the table at Napoli's, an Italian restaurant directly across the street from the high school. We all saw what the others had ordered, and were entertained to see her burger order himself an entire pizza. We thought he'd never get through the whole thing, but he did!

From that point on, we also referred to him as "burger pizza" because how many other guard members had burgers that could scarf down an entire medium pizza by himself so easily? Now though, she's married and has an adorable little boy. I don't know if her burger pizza is the one she married because his name escapes me. One thing is certain, though; I will never forget burger pizza! I could probably ask A right now and I'm certain she'd laugh too.

There are so many guard memories that they can't be summed up in one blog, but one thing is certain- I'm stoked that I chose to join the guard, despite my inathleticism and ineptitude at dancing and being graceful, because those WERE the best times of my life, and if possible, I'd probably still be on a guard. Alas, things fall apart. At least I have the great memories from guard to replace or at least repress all the hurt and misunderstanding that I experiences I had during those years. They understood & respected me, gave me a bit of confidence, friendships I'll never forget, and enough memories to spend a lifetime to retell. Thank you Joshua HS colorguard/winterguard for getting me through the rest of high school after moving.

Also, I think my regular readers from all over the world- India, Croatia, Slovenia, the Netherlands, & many more, especially from the US (whom are about half my readers), those who are consistently reading, even if you ran into this blog by accident...I like that feeling I get when I know I'm being listened to, since I don't get it often. I've got more than 400 readers since I started this blog 1 September of this year- an average of over 100 a month! Thank you for the confidence boost. Remember that you can follow me if you create an account (which is quite simple) to get updates every time I post, instead of watching my page for new posts, or waiting for a link. I'd really like to see whomever it is that is reading my blog. You're also welcome to leave comments if you're a member, which would be greatly appreciated, and even include things you'd like to see in future blogs, or shoot a message at ashlw87@gmail.com :) have a nice day! Auf weidersehen!