09 May 2011


Respect is a 2 way street. 'Nuff said.

One of the things that really gets to me is when people say "you can do anything, if you put your mind to it."

Not true. Hence, I felt it was necessary to come up with a list of things I cannot do, no matter if I put my mind to it or not (or even want to)

  • I can never become a professional or Olympic gymnast or ice skater. Most of the gymnasts are close to half my age anyway
  • I can never become a professional football, soccer, baseball, or basketball player; let's just cross all professional sports off the list, considering I can barely walk without injuring myself somehow
  • I can never be a billionaire. Let's face it, social workers don't make that much. It's not going to happen.
  • I can never turn back time. Even if I could, if you've ever seen Back to the Future....it would completely destroy the space-time continuum. 
  • I can never make my hair cutesy wavy like some people can, no matter how much product I put in my hair
  • I can never grow 5 inches taller
  • Get a job when they're not available
  • Join the military. They don't like my kind. Trust me. They'd immediately decline my service. 
  • Be a size 0. Given my frame, I should at minimum be a 5, perhaps a 3. Even to get there would be nearly, if not completely, impossible. I'm almost twice the size I should be. Ok, so maybe being my realistically expected size is possible, but it's a pretty long stretch there.
  • Dribble a football 
"When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football."  ~Author Unknown (source: Quote Garden) 
  • Completely get rid of my allergies and other conditions that are irreversible (such as hypothyroidism) or change my family history (although I can do things to avoid future problems, I cannot get rid of already present problems)
  • Be the founder of Apple or Microsoft (I did say that some of these things I would not want to do anyway)
  • Give everyone the resources they need (I have to remember, I can't save everyone)
  • Inherit a fortune from my family
  • Win the lottery- which has nothing to do with determination anyway
  • Wear orange fashionably- let's face it, no matter how much I want to wear the color, it is just not good with my skin tone, and will look awful.
  • Force someone to be a certain way (i.e. you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink)
I think that's enough listing for someone to get the idea. Basically, even though I'm not much of a religious nut, I do like the serenity prayer (and I hope that someone will read this and direct me to the direct source in the Bible so I can edit and include it....Shar? You know some of this stuff, right?)-
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Lo and behold. Accept the things you cannot change. Guess what? You CAN'T do everything you put your mind to. You don't have power over others' willpower. You can't change some of the things around you or factored into your life. You can have the courage to change the things you can- like lose some weight, learn a language, learn how to play a sport, find someone to be your confidante, learn to read and write well, and many other things.

Do not, for the sake of all things good in life, tell me that I can do anything if I put my mind to it, or that nothing is impossible. These are lies and I will correct you and argue with you on it to no end. I cannot be wrong, and I cannot do absolutely everything.

I know they're meant to be helpful words, but they're not. They make me want to chew your face off. Ok, I'm not Hannibal, and I can't stand the thought of hurting another human being, so let's just say instead that it makes me want to claw my eyes out with the fury of an addict withdrawing from powerful substance addictions. And I'm not making light of them, because I see them every day at my internship, but I know that there is a lot of fury/rage that comes when a person cannot feed their addiction. That's the type of fury I get when someone tells me I can do anything. I CANNOT! There are many things I simply cannot do, regardless of intense will to do so. The linguistics of this "encouragement" leaves me angry and sometimes feeling helpless.

Unless, of course, my mood is cycling and I'm at the upper end of the scale. Then, if you tell me I can't do something, I will want to attack you with a knipoonork (see image of knipoonork). In case you haven't heard, these are....I don't know. They break all the laws of kitchen cutlery. I don't have one, but in one of my upswings, I am a shopaholic and would want to go out of my way to find one to bludgeon you with. Of course, as said before, I wouldn't really hurt you, but I would want to. 

To counteract the amount of "cannots" in this blog, I will add in some things that a person can do:

  • Admit to having a problem, and work on fixing it
  • Apply for jobs and get hired for open positions
  • Begin thinking positively
  • Take care of your physical health
  • Learn a new skill
  • Mend broken or weak relationships
  • Meet new people
  • Save money
  • Exercise regularly
  • Take an interest in reading
  • Go to college (or back to college) or at least finish a high school diploma or GED
  • Begin writing a blog and get more followers than expected, as well as thousands of page views (I'd have never expected!)
  • Find the person who you want to be with for the rest of your life (although I am doubtful on this one)
Nevertheless, don't tell me I can do everything, or that nothing is impossible. You can tell me [insert possible task] is possible, or is not impossible, but you can't use generalisations. So please, don't. 


Shar said...

I really like the Serenity Prayer too Ashley! It's not mentioned in the Bible, the prayer was written by a theologian... But its really helpful to many people, including myself!

The prayer is actually a little longer than "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
But thats the part that everyone {me too} quotes and that's also the part that's always in paintings and stuff...

I really love your "CAN" list!
It's very positive!
I hope your day goes great!

XO Shar

♥α§ђ£ε¥™♥ said...

I knew you'd pull through for me!! lol

Thanks. The main reason it was so easy for me to bring up, and so easy to quote, is because the guys at my internship use it to open each group. Otherwise I would have been tripping and stumbling over the wording. I'm not much on theology for my own personal reasons, which are far too personal to post here...but I try not to let the actions of one person completely drive me away. Try. Try.

Hope you have a good day too!

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