29 September 2010

Who I am

Here is something I dredged up from a long time ago, I love the way I wrote it, and if I wrote it today, it would probably look very similar. The copyright date is Saturday, 18 January 2007.

I want you to protect me, but I don't want to be smothered.
I want to have boundaries, but don't put me in a box.
I want your support, but please don't push me.
I want your attention, but I don't want to be your everything.
When you're someone's everything, everything depends on you.
I want you to depend on me, but not for everything.
Don't place your life in my hands.
I'm bound to mess up somewhere, to make a mistake
I want you to help me up when I fall.
Don't force me to get up, though, if I want to draw on the sidewalk for a while.
Play in the rain and make a fool of myself.
What I'm trying to say is, make sure that I know who I am, but in that, let me be who I am, find things on my own, discover my personality, and let it shine.  Don't make me so much of a part of you that I can't become myself, but I do still want you to be there.  Love me for who I am, accept me for what I am not.  I make mistakes, and I try to learn from them.  Just because I might make the same mistake again, doesn't mean I didn't learn anything the first time. 
Just be there.  Just hear me.  Be there, whether I need you or not, listen whether I'm talking or not.  But don't force me to do anything, it's easier when I do it by my own will.  Let me have my freedom, but help me keep my head on straight.  If you love me, you will do this.  You will accept me, but in being a part of who I am, you'll make me a better person--without forcing me.  That's what it's all about.  You'll help me to change, not FORCE me to change.  You'll listen, you'll hear me, you'll help me, but you won't take the steering wheel and keep me from driving on.  I'm naturally driven to do my own thing.  Just sometimes, I need input and guidance.  And I want for you, the person to whom I mean so much, the person who means so much to me, to be the one to give me that input and guidance.  Because you, more than anybody, know my need to be guided but also my need to be free.  Thank you for letting me just be ME, and keeping me from making stupid mistakes that I can't learn from.  It means the world to me.

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