Here I stand, at the precipice of my college career; I've registered for my final semester (Abnormal Psychology and the second portion of my field placement), and I'm ready as ever to have that precious piece of paper in my hot little hands. It's been 6 (yes, six) long, excruciating years. I started college in August 2005, and I will be finishing my degree in August 2011...exactly 6 years later.
Of course, I'm having problems getting enough financial aid approved for me to finish the aforementioned courses, but I'm trying to get everything worked out in the best possible way. As of right now, I'm short [a lot of] money...I don't know how I'm going to manage to get enough money to pay for it. If I don't have enough....I'll be dropped. That's one of my main concerns. One of my complaints is....why the hell don't they have a payment plan for the summer courses? Either way, even if I had a payment plan, that doesn't change the fact that I have absolutely ZERO income. I haven't had any income since my final benefits at Target were sent in the mail in January of 2010. How do they expect me to come up with the other $1,800 that I owe for tuition? Much less books? I have no idea.
I do know one thing, though....I am VERY excited. Whether I walk the stage in December with the fall graduates or not....I haven't decided yet. I'll have already had my degree for approximately 4 months, and will hopefully be licensed by then. Side note- I took a practice licensing exam in my SW field class, and [barely] passed. So there's hope for me yet, if I can get through this last little stretch.
For the spring semester, I'm a bit disappointed, though I might pull better grades than I thought. I know for a fact that I have a B in my field seminar, as the points were strictly laid out at the beginning of the semester. There's no changing that. In microeconomics at Tarrant County College, I'm probably going to end up with a high B, but might, in some bizarre circumstance, get an A. I have an A in my psychology class, and I intend to keep it that way! I don't have any clue whatsoever as to my grade for my internship (which is either pass or fail, not ABCDF). I haven't even met the guy that's supposed to be my field liaison (even though he was supposed to contact me before mid-semester). I have no idea who this guy is, much less what kind of grade he's going to assign.
Ridiculous story- On Thursday, May 12, I have to drive 20 miles to the community college to drop off my final exam, then leave. Total 40 miles round trip, to drop off a sheet of paper. Really? Are they going to pay for my gas for me to do so? It's a bit ridiculous. I wish I could have them accept it on Tuesday, when I have my other final exam at the CC, just so that it'll make things less complicated. Alas, colleges really don't care about what stress or burdens they are putting on the students, as long as they get their money.
Honestly? I can't wait for summer to get here. I'm sooo ready. Even though I have 1 class for the first half, and an intensive class during the last 5 weeks of the summer session. In fact, it won't be much different from a regular long semester, except that there are fewer weeks. Still, it's just that much closer to completing my degree!
I keep saying "closer to graduation," as though there is no commencement ceremony for those graduating in August, but I can choose to walk the stage in December. I'm trying to decide not only how much it will mean to not only me, but those around me- ie family. They haven't been all that enthusiastic about the ceremony, although I know they'll go if I choose to participate. I just don't want to feel like I forced them to.
What matters to me most is that, even with all the obstacles I've faced, including a few weeks where I wasn't able to attend school due to extenuating circumstances, I'm finally finishing my degree. I kept going, even when I was only a tenth of a point from probation (my GPA is higher now, thank goodness). I kept going, even when medications were affecting me badly. I attended classes, and I worked my ass off. This is an accomplishment! I just wish others showed as much enthusiasm, instead of just saying "you know we're proud of you" in a flat tone. Yea, I know, but I don't feel it. I want to actually feel like I've done something right for once. Then again, time, money, resources, all that's put into it....I don't blame anyone for not being excited about it. It's not a perfect world.
So, August will come and go...I won't have the money for the class ring...maybe after I find a job or something, if I have any luck. I've got to draw up a more updated resume. I've been applying for jobs requiring bachelors' degrees already. I've been taking practice licensing exams. I've been collecting info about grad school, even though I'm not sure if I'm going yet, considering my circumstances. I've applied for and been approved for graduation. Now it's just a waiting game, and getting everything done that needs to be done.
Deuces from my torture chamber i.e. the final stretch- cram for exam time.