07 August 2011

Day 6: Sentimental Value

30 Days About Me

Day 6 (now that I'm caught up): Most treasured item-

My most treasured item is my sock monkey. My most treasured item before that was one of those pillows with the microbeads in it. The story?

Often times, I get very down on myself. I have a very low sense of self-esteem, but I try not to let it show around other people. Those who have known me for years, though, know that I really don't feel cared for or accepted, no matter how much someone tells me I am. You can tell me until your face turns blue, but I'll never believe it. I don't know why I'm this way, but I am.

Of course, some people might think my treasured items might be my salutatorian medal from high school, depicting my hard work and dedication, my collection of books, from which I never want to be parted, or my electronic items, from which I don't want to be parted, because they are a strong part of my support system. I don't have many real life friends. I find it hard to maintain relationships with people, and I don't know why.

But no, my most treasured item is a sock monkey, a gift given to me, probably purchased at a big box retailer, although that doesn't really matter, and a microbead pillow- same story. Why, you might ask?

These gifts were given out of love. I know my parents loved me when they gave me an Evo, when they traded my laptop, when they attended my high school graduation while I was wearing my medal and giving my speech, but those aren't my treasured items.

I sleep with my sock monkey held close to my side every night, as kind of a comfort, a reminder. I used to sleep with the microbead pillow, before I had the sock monkey. They were comfort, calming daily reminders that my parents loved me and wanted the best for me. I could take them anywhere with me, even tucked away in a bag, and not be questioned. A medal, not so much. My phone? Everyone carries a phone. Besides, they're used for practical things like...I don't know, contacting people?

The sock monkey's sole purpose is to keep me company. If I'm feeling lonely or discontent, I turn to the sock monkey with my blanket pulled over me (even if it's 115 degrees- I tend to have a cool room because of the way the thermostat works in our house). I can hold onto the sock monkey and feel protected and loved. It's not just a valued possession because it has "value"...it's sentimental value to me. Things like phones and whatnot don't have the same sentimental value.

While it's true I only graduate high school once, pictures tell the story of time, books give knowledge and entertainment, the sock monkey provides comfort that none of these other things can provide. Holding a book while falling asleep just doesn't feel the same. Wearing a medal to bed doesn't feel the same. These things are still important to me, and valuable, as are a few other things, as I tend not to get caught up in the material value of things, but the emotional value, but the sock monkey....I never want to let it go.

I want to feel loved, I want to feel valued, and when I remember that these things were given to me out of love and sentiment, I hold on to them tightly, as though they radiate love. It's almost cathartic for me, and for this reason, the sock monkey is my most valuable possession.

Photobucket

8 comments:

Jenny said...

How cute, I never had a sock monkey, so I guess I don't know what I'm missing!

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WhisperingWriter said...

Aw, that sock monkey is adorable! I can see why you love it.

mmbear said...

It is the simplest things sometimes that give the greatest joy! I really love your wallpaper! I am a new follower of your blog thru GFC, Twitter and Facebook. I would really love a follow back on all three when you get a chance. Thanks so very much and have a great night!

Mary@http://www.mmbearcupoftea.com

Joy Williams said...

I can see how your sock monkey can be your most treasured item. i really appreciate how you described why it was important to you!

Momma T said...

That's so sweet! Following you via GFC, FB and on twitter from the Sunday stalker hop! Would love if you could visit =)
-Trisha
http://www.MommaTandBabyE.com

Barb said...

Hey Ashley!! I'm following you via the Sunday Stalker Blog Hop, via GFC and twitter and aiming to follow your posts as soon as I post this comment here!
Barb
FL Mom's Blog
http://flmoms-winterbabe98.blogspot.com/

Miss Sassy Pants said...

I love sock monkeys!! They are adorable. I used to have one but I am not sure what happened to it...

Becca said...

That's really adorable :)

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