07 August 2011

Day 6: Sentimental Value

30 Days About Me

Day 6 (now that I'm caught up): Most treasured item-

My most treasured item is my sock monkey. My most treasured item before that was one of those pillows with the microbeads in it. The story?

Often times, I get very down on myself. I have a very low sense of self-esteem, but I try not to let it show around other people. Those who have known me for years, though, know that I really don't feel cared for or accepted, no matter how much someone tells me I am. You can tell me until your face turns blue, but I'll never believe it. I don't know why I'm this way, but I am.

Of course, some people might think my treasured items might be my salutatorian medal from high school, depicting my hard work and dedication, my collection of books, from which I never want to be parted, or my electronic items, from which I don't want to be parted, because they are a strong part of my support system. I don't have many real life friends. I find it hard to maintain relationships with people, and I don't know why.

But no, my most treasured item is a sock monkey, a gift given to me, probably purchased at a big box retailer, although that doesn't really matter, and a microbead pillow- same story. Why, you might ask?

These gifts were given out of love. I know my parents loved me when they gave me an Evo, when they traded my laptop, when they attended my high school graduation while I was wearing my medal and giving my speech, but those aren't my treasured items.

I sleep with my sock monkey held close to my side every night, as kind of a comfort, a reminder. I used to sleep with the microbead pillow, before I had the sock monkey. They were comfort, calming daily reminders that my parents loved me and wanted the best for me. I could take them anywhere with me, even tucked away in a bag, and not be questioned. A medal, not so much. My phone? Everyone carries a phone. Besides, they're used for practical things like...I don't know, contacting people?

The sock monkey's sole purpose is to keep me company. If I'm feeling lonely or discontent, I turn to the sock monkey with my blanket pulled over me (even if it's 115 degrees- I tend to have a cool room because of the way the thermostat works in our house). I can hold onto the sock monkey and feel protected and loved. It's not just a valued possession because it has "value"...it's sentimental value to me. Things like phones and whatnot don't have the same sentimental value.

While it's true I only graduate high school once, pictures tell the story of time, books give knowledge and entertainment, the sock monkey provides comfort that none of these other things can provide. Holding a book while falling asleep just doesn't feel the same. Wearing a medal to bed doesn't feel the same. These things are still important to me, and valuable, as are a few other things, as I tend not to get caught up in the material value of things, but the emotional value, but the sock monkey....I never want to let it go.

I want to feel loved, I want to feel valued, and when I remember that these things were given to me out of love and sentiment, I hold on to them tightly, as though they radiate love. It's almost cathartic for me, and for this reason, the sock monkey is my most valuable possession.



Jenny said...

How cute, I never had a sock monkey, so I guess I don't know what I'm missing!

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AiringMyLaundry said...

Aw, that sock monkey is adorable! I can see why you love it.

Unknown said...

It is the simplest things sometimes that give the greatest joy! I really love your wallpaper! I am a new follower of your blog thru GFC, Twitter and Facebook. I would really love a follow back on all three when you get a chance. Thanks so very much and have a great night!


Joy Williams said...

I can see how your sock monkey can be your most treasured item. i really appreciate how you described why it was important to you!

Unknown said...

That's so sweet! Following you via GFC, FB and on twitter from the Sunday stalker hop! Would love if you could visit =)

Barbara said...

Hey Ashley!! I'm following you via the Sunday Stalker Blog Hop, via GFC and twitter and aiming to follow your posts as soon as I post this comment here!
FL Mom's Blog

Stephanie Iris said...

I love sock monkeys!! They are adorable. I used to have one but I am not sure what happened to it...

Becca said...

That's really adorable :)

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