I find myself staring at this screen, trying to write something comparable, and I'm at a loss. I don't have much of a story to grace anyone's walls with. I've been through some stuff, but nothing to clamour over. I don't have any spectacularly crazy people to blog about, and nothing peculiar in my life. I'm not into any subject that would draw any massive crowds, and helping people in the social services isn't something that can really be written about very well, without breaching confidentiality much.
Occasionally, I can mention a client that has done something that has affected me. I've had one that brought me to tears when he left, giving me a picture he had hastily drawn upon his unexpected departure, which was actually really amazing. I have yet to hang it on the wall above the intern-ish area (I call it that, because it's not really my, nor anyone else's, desk, but the interns mostly use it).
Another one brought me to tears when he asked me to pray with him, because I'm not a particularly religious person. I've had some stuff in my past that has led me to obstacles that I couldn't ignore, and when he asked, I stumbled trying to find the right answer, but I went ahead and prayed with him. I want what's best for the client.
I've had clients that have scared the crap out of me. They've been involved in gangs and aren't afraid to go back into that lifestyle. Some come from rich, some from poor lifestyles. Some have great families, some have little family support at all. They come from different racial, social, and religious backgrounds. They all come into the same facility for the same reason, some know each other from the juvenile detention center in the county.
It's amazing when we get a group of clients that are able to pull through the program together, and a number of them are able to pull through the bottom levels of the program and reach to the higher levels. Other times, we'll have an onslaught of new clients, and we'll cycle through a lot before we finally start bringing in clients that are in it to make it through. It goes in cycles, and we're about to go through another onslaught of new kids. I'm nervous. We're also about to get an onslaught of new interns. Oh my!
I'd love to blog more about my internship, but I know that I can't go into much more detail than that. I love my internship. Often I bring my work home with me. I'll work on something for the clients until the end of the night, forwarding an email to the primary counselor that I work with, and she'll implement the changes the next day. I helped in the creation of an incentive program that rewards them for good behavior and helping each other out. I try to call them out before they get written up for something, to see if they'll change their behavior.
I really do care about what I'm doing, otherwise, I would have said "See ya in a month!" after I finished my class at the beginning of May, but I didn't. I continued to work through the month of May. I put in 100 extra hours in the spring semester. I know most of them won't count, but I did it anyway. Because I care.
Some people do stuff like this for money. They blog for money. They counsel for money. Everything that I'm doing right now? They'd have a lot of money from it. I haven't made a dime this year. Not a single dime. But you know what? I'm okay with that. I like what I do, and that's all that matters right now. I'm working on my degree, and soon enough, I'll be able to like what I do and earn money from it. I just have to finish what I'm doing now, and I'll make my way. It may be difficult, but I'll make it. In the meantime....I have no idea what this blog was about. It's been a long day, I'm tired, and I'm ready to go to bed. Goodnight, world.
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