29 June 2011

Burning Questions

Today's been one of my overly analytical days. I've been overanalyzing every song I hear.

Unfortunately, I heard the Devil go down to Georgia way too many times (I don't know if my phone was set to "replay classic country" or something, but it kept playing that song)

Why did he go to Georgia? Aren't there many more places to steal souls? And why was he searching on some back country road, carrying a fiddle? Why was it that the only person he could find was some hick named Johnny who happened to beat the shit out of him and his band of demons when playing the fiddle? I just don't get it. No comprendo.

Luckily, Mental Floss is a great website that answers some of my deep, burning questions, like why we drive on the right side of the road, rather than the left, or why those little red wagons we dragged around as kids were called radio flyers. I mean, after all, I have so many burning questions, they all need to be answered!

Then, there are some things in life that can't be answered. For some reason, the university that I am getting my degree from in a month in a half is sending me flyers about undergraduate recruitment. Wait, what? I've received letters from other major universities too, wanting me to transfer my credits. Why, in my last month of college, would I transfer my credits somewhere else? No, I'm staying here! I also got a check for [undisclosed amount] from the university in the mail today. I have no idea why, and I'm checking it out, but it's a bit mind-blowing.

Why must life throw us things like that? Why must life confuse us? Why can't everything be [at least somewhat] straightforward? I mean, I love analyzing things and all, but not all people are cut out for that, man. People just aren't. I can name some right now that should just have things explained in layman's terms.

Then again, there would be no challenges, and yes, I do think there should be some challenge in life. But don't we have enough challenges? Where do we draw the line? I mean, I respect that we should have challenges and work hard for shit, but sometimes, things can't be worked out. We can try, we can work on it as hard as possible, but it's just way too damn hard to work out. Then we're forced to feel like failures because we didn't meet some expectations.

Well, some of us feel like failures. The ones that overachieve. The ones that can't stand to fail. The ones who have to do everything and have to do it right. I hate not meeting expectations. I hate not meeting commitments. There was a commitment I made last month that I made last month that I had to back out of, and I am still beating myself up for it, even though it's been almost a month since I found out I had to back out. I know that it's going to happen in life, but it still feels bad.

Yet I continue to make commitments, because I feel like I have to do so much. I continue to overachieve. I continue to analyze. I must know everything. I must be in control. Everything that's going to be happening next week while I'm not working at my internship? I'm losing sleep over it. I'm wondering how it's all gonna work out. I've got this temptation to call up there every day just to check in. Seriously. And I'm just an intern. What am I going to do when I have to leave? When I have to pass on commitments? When I have to pass on the torch?

I'm really agonizing over this, because it's really nearing that time where I'm gonna have to start wrapping things up. I'm starting my next class July 11. I'll be missing a week worth of hours due to distance from internship. I'll be doing a really heavy duty group project as well as a heavy duty individual paper over the next couple of weeks (hint: don't expect a lot of blogging, unless I feel the need to say something, or have some time when my brain needs a break). On top of that, the other class 4 hours a day 4 days a week and my internship hours. I don't know how I expected myself to do it, but I'll need to kick my ass into high gear now. That means now.

That means I need to stop worrying about round pizza in square boxes, why an antibacterial hand wash would boast that it is waterless, why people would want touch free soap (isn't it to clean your hands? why would it matter if you touched the soap thing if you're cleaning your hands afterward?), why people would want to live a certain lifestyle, why maps are usually square, why things that taste so good are so bad for you, why [insert higher power] would make animals out of meat if he didn't want us to eat them, why most people are right handed (aside from genetics....is there some survival benefit to it?), why we have different seasons, and the like. I could sit here all night and wander and wonder....because my mind is like that.

What kind of things do you wonder about?

Is there anything you wonder about me? [I'm opening myself up to answering any questions. If interested, I may even create a vlog to answer them, because people seem to like vlogs. I'd have to put a time limit on that though, but first I'm gonna put the idea out there and see what I get.]

Tell me something about you!!!

I'm double-jointed in all my fingers except my right thumb.
I was born without tonsils
I know how to read music but cannot play an instrument to save my life
I prefer to dress casually, but most of my closet is business-casual due to my internship
I have a love affair with dark chocolate. I'm biased against other types of chocolate because they're too milky.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everyone just the same. (just kidding- if anything, I love everyone)
I love to wear the mascot for my school, even if I hate my school (I have numerous shirts from my second high school, to which I never really adjusted)
I own more blue clothes than anything. I like blue, but blue clothes are also easier to match & easier to find
I'm very self-conscious (see here)
I like Aeropostale simply because they were established in 1987, the year I was born. That's why. I like the '87 on everything. :)

Deuces, yo

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2 comments:

vickilikesfrogs said...

Here's one that needs to be answered...how the HELL have I not found you before now??

Cake Betch said...

I LOVE that song. Love it. It brings out the redneck in me. Makes me want to jiggy jig all over the place!
And why DO we drive on the right side of the road? I could probably Google it, but I'm really lazy.
I mostly wonder about where sandwiches come from.
And why my brain iz so werd.

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