18 August 2011

Lack of Structure

I'm feeling a little unsettled right now, even though I don't have a whole lot going on in my life...and that's probably a good portion of the reason why.

For so much of my life, I've always had something going on...whether it was school, or a job, or an extracurricular activity, it seems there was almost always something to do, and now that I'm grasping for straws, without a license and grades yet to be released, I feel sort of in a panic.

How do people who don't have something structuring their life day to day handle it? I mean, even moms have something to structure their lives around (children), but I don't have that. I have nothing to structure my life around.

The few potential I-might-apply-for-this-job places that I've found have had so many qualifications and I've lacked one, and I've been so terrified they'd throw me out because I lack that one thing that I haven't moved yet. I don't have the final grades. I don't have the license. I don't have anyone or anything to structure myself around, and I'm not used to that.

Thus, I have not much to write about. My blog is starting to lack content due to the lack of stimulation, structure, and activity. I thought it might be relaxing, but it's not at all relaxing...on the contrary, it's stressful, and it makes me want to hide in bed all day (which doesn't help the situation).


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