Day 17: Your biggest insecurity & something you are proud of
My biggest insecurity...oh boy. I have a lot of...skeletons in my closet...but don't look in there, because there are no real skeletons in there (but I do have a good sized closet...wanna go hide in there and see? Just kidding ;) lol)
To be honest, I've never been happy with myself at all, and heaven only knows why. When I say that I really don't like anything about myself, people come out with compliments about how I'm smart, witty, a good writer (ha, yeah right), friendly, they can really dish it out. I might accept it, at the moment, but I never really believe it, even when I get awards. Even a university degree can't convince me that I'm intelligent- look how many other people are getting one, they even have to spread graduation over a week in winter, so that they can accommodate everyone. Insecurities? I've got a closet full of them. My looks, my intelligence, when am I going to fall apart? When am I going to lose it? Am I thin enough? Am I strong enough? I could go on all day. I don't think I can pick a "biggest" insecurity, because I'm just a very insecure person, and can always remember being insecure about something.
One thing that I'm proud of, though, is being able to work through those insecurities, though, and show that despite the fact that I am insecure, I can hold myself together and do a good job. I may not be the most confident person, but I can portray complete confidence, and do the job of a person who has the confidence that I don't. I can make it through, I can see my weaknesses, and work through them. I know what I need to do, when I need to do it, and how. It's being able to see those weaknesses and insecurities and working around them that has gotten me where I am, and for that, I am ever so grateful. Even that, I am insecure about, but I know that I do it. I can even use it as a learning experience to help other people who are insecure about themselves, to help them see that even though they have insecurities, they can still be successful and make it in life.