Words of Wisduh- July 2011

If any of you have ever been conscious during the summer, you know it sometimes gets hot.

If any of you have ever been conscious during the summer and live in Texas, you know it gets ridiculously hot, most of the time. As you can see in the picture, today is the 20th, and we've only been below 100 twice this month- the first and second. June hovered near or above the triple digits most of the month. It's not the hottest weather we've seen, but it's pretty damn hot (and sunny) (also, if you look, there is not a drop of precipitation this month. We've gotten a mere 1.5 inch in the past 2 months. DRY)

We're almost melting. Credit

Now, for those of you who have to experience the Texas heat (and pretty much any heat like this, like in most of the central states right now), there are some basic rules you should live by, some that I am calling the words of wisduh. I mean, you should know them, but some people still don't get it.

• If it's in a car, it will be hot after 5 minutes. Yes, just 5 minutes. Even if you put it in the shade (for example, under a seat). It's in the sun, and the car is like an oven. It cooks whatever's inside, whether it's in the shade or not
• Referring back to number one, never touch a seatbelt buckle, or, for that matter, the seatbelt, steering wheel, door handle, or any part of a car until you have had a functional (not broken) air con on for at least a few minutes. You will burn yourself.
• If you don't want a sunburn, if you are unusually pale, if you want to avoid skin cancer, and if you want to look young for a while, wear sunscreen. If you tan quickly, if you don't care about sunburns, or if you don't mind your skin aging quickly, by all means, don't wear sunscreen. It's your body.
• Drink water. Drink water or pass out. Then someone will make you drink water (or put you on an IV and not let you drink water when you are thirsty). Best option? Drink water.
• Don't complain about the heat. We all know it's hot. If you mention it, fine. If you're incessantly whining about it, we all want to shoot steaming death rays at you, making it 10x hotter. Then you will have something to whine about. The weather channel is telling us, other people are telling us, our phones are telling us, and we can feel it.
• Pavement is hot. You will get blisters walking on hot pavement without shoes. If you choose to walk on hot pavement without shoes, do not complain to me, because I warned you.
• If you wear long sleeve tees or pants, you will sweat. You will smell disgusting. You will feel hotter. I wear shorts in the summer, sometimes, even though I know that I don't look all that great in them. I don't have the body for it. I wear sleeveless tops. People don't care because it's too hot to care.
• Don't leave your cell phone in your car (or anything valuable, like kids) because they will overheat. However, if your cell phone does overheat but still works, placing it in front of the air con as soon as you turn it on will help to bring the temperature down more quickly. I wouldn't recommend doing this, though. And definitely don't leave anything living in the car. I think that's illegal in most localities. Especially ones where it's hot.
• Don't drive a black car. In fact, don't climb inside anything black, and don't wear black. Black absorbs the heat, white reflects it. It's in the chemistry of the colours. If you climb in a black car, expect to be scalded by everything inside. Thankfully, mine is silver. My sister acquired my brother's old black Mustang. I'm sorry, Courtney.

Ways to beat the heat:

• Go swimming- You're in the water and you don't notice the heat as much. Take note- if you are prone to sunburn and don't want one, stay lathered, because you won't notice if you're getting one, seeing as you won't notice the heat
• Don't go outside and exercise a lot (use indoor facilities)- they may be more expensive, but you can have heat stroke and whatnot much quicker if you're outside, and it's just much more difficult to get much of a workout, unless you like the feeling of dizziness.
• Sit in front of a fan, or in a room with air con- this is my favourite. You can be lazy & cool at the same time. My fave claim is that I am studying (which I often I am, so it's not a lie). Right now, the study of choice is abnormal psych, we are studying somatoform disorders and dissociative disorders, we just finished anxiety disorders today. We're probably having a pop quiz tomorrow, since she told us to make sure we're studying.
• Go out to a place that has air con- like a mall, library, or somewhere where people gather in your town. If you're daring, go to Six Flags or some other theme park, and continuously ride water rides to stay cool, so you're out and about, and still keeping cool.
• Enroll in a summer program at a school. If you're in college, take a summer class. They do have some "fun" summer classes. Not all of them are upper level boring classes. I'm taking mine to graduate, but there are some others that are just for fun, and there are programs for children at the university and community college too.
• If you DO go somewhere outside, carry around those little fans that shoot water, water bottles, drinks, and anything else that will help to keep you hydrated, cool, and comfortable. If you want to avoid sunburn, wear a hat and appropriate clothing and/or sunscreen.

If you want to be brave like me, wear a tank top, shorts, no sunscreen, and flip flops, and walk around all day outside. I just know I'll end up with skin cancer one day.....BUT I keep water with me (or some other light drink, like green tea, or lemonade), and I frequently take a water ride at Six Flags, or a dip in the pool; I keep myself cool. I also know there are risks with medication, so I keep myself aware of how I'm feeling and whatnot. If I need to sit, I sit. If I need air con, I find the nearest building where I can bathe in the cool air. If I need more water, I drink more water. I keep anything I want to keep cool with me, because I know it'll fry in my car.

They show (almost every year) a segment where they fry something on the dashboard of a car, or on a sidewalk, to dramatize how hot it gets outside. It's pretty awesome, but it doesn't keep people from doing stupid stuff. People still keep stuff (or kids) in their car. I left my phone in there the other day (but was able to quickly cool it off with the air con, thank goodness). People still grab seatbelt buckles and exclaim "ow!" as if it was something new. People get surprised at sunburns when they've been in the sun all day (I was going for the sunbathed look, so I'm not shocked). My sister complained about the blisters on the bottom of her feet from walking on the hot ground barefoot...and was just a few days later running around outside barefoot again. WTF child?!?! (she will probably read this and not comment or comment anonymously).

It's summer people. It's hot. Things outside get hot. That's what happens. It's nothing new. It happened last year, and the year before that. People act like it's something new and startling, and that's what gets me...I'll probably have to repeat the same thing next year. Because I'll see the same people doing the same thing.

Thank goodness for light colours, flip flops, shorts, water, fans, air con, swimming pools, shoes, shade, and the fact that summer doesn't last all year, just most of it!

Deuces