Take a Deep Breath

Smoking...where do you stand?

I've seen so many opinions, it's just astounding. I know that I can't do it...just the smell or smoke in the air makes me feel like I can't breathe, although I don't often say anything about it. I know, theoretically, I could, but it would probably require me to carry my inhaler, and just wouldn't be much fun. I think I'll pass on the offer.

UTA recently became a smoke-free campus, and there's a lot of controversy on it, mainly coming from those who do smoke. Those who don't smoke, or who can wait to smoke until they are off campus, don't seem to mind too much. Then there's the parties who can't wait until they're even out of the building before they've got the package of cigarettes out, and the lighter, waiting until they get out the door to light up.

Now, it's not that I want to control them or anything, because I really don't. In fact, I don't even want to force them to think about the damage they're doing to themselves, or the people around them. Honestly, I just want people to think about what it takes to be such an impulsive person that even waiting to get out the door before lighting up is torture. That walking to your car and driving off campus is far too long before you can indulge in your addiction is too much of an expectation. Is it?

I mean, there were rules before, which were loosely enforced because the smokers couldn't wait until they got 50 feet from the doors. Is that too much to ask? I know it's hard to understand, for a non-smoker, but can't you find some other way to relieve anxiety? I know that anxiety is hard- I have to deal with it all the time- there are other ways. I can't resort to smoking. Trust me, there are other ways.

Smoking is just a very poor coping mechanism for stress and anxiety, one that can lead to physical and psychological problems...alcohol is another problem that can lead to trouble. The two are very often linked together, too.

Why must we ban smoking on campus? I don't know. Why is it such a problem that smokers can't wait a little bit longer to get to their cars, or at least a more open area to smoke? I don't know. I don't like the division between the two parties, and luckily, I don't have to be on campus to watch the situation unfold when the new semester begins (the ban was put into place 1st August).

I think a better idea would have been to have a few designated places on campus, marked designated places, ones that non-smokers could avoid, so that the problem could have been contained a little bit easier. I think the problem they are trying to target is smoking itself, but the thing is, and a lot of people have complained, some smokers just don't want to quit. Why? I have no idea. I can't execute my will on them and force them to...but I wish they would. It's not something I would encourage for anyone. Alas, they are steadfast in their belief that it is a right for them to smoke, and they won't quit.

Will this divide always exist? Will the United States become a place that is divided between smokers and non-smokers, dividing into cities based on their smoking behaviors? How far are we going to go on this? How far will they push smokers before the smokers turn around and do something about it? I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Comments about choice

I read an article recently that really peeved me. Actually, it wasn't really the article, but the ignorance of the people making comments at the end. At one point, I probably would not have been so peeved by their remarks, because I had not the experience that I have now, but time has changed me, and I see things differently, for more than just the reasons I'll share here.

We all know about Amy Winehouse, and are sick of hearing about her. OK, well, that's the only time I'll mention her name, because that's not really what this is about- her name was just mentioned in the article because she dealt with addiction. What this is about, really, is addiction. The article, which is now buried beneath hundreds of other posts and I'll probably never find it, was about addiction, and how difficult it was to maintain abstinence, and it gave kudos to those who were able to do so. It explained that it was quite common for those with addiction problems to relapse, but that it was not so much of a choice as people would think.

Addiction is far more than just a choice once it has become physiological. Sure, in the beginning, when you're lighting your first joint, or shooting up for the first time, that is a choice. Once you've done it multiple times, though, it becomes more of a coping mechanism.

It's not so easy as a choice. People who think it is so easy as a choice should try going without something they like (doesn't have to be a drug) while being exposed to it often, for an extended period of time. It's more difficult than it looks/sounds. I mean, how many people go on diets, intending to lose weight, only to go off them because they miss their food and end up gaining their weight back? I know this isn't the best comparison, but for someone who has never used a substance, it's hard to understand the mechanisms and motivations behind it.

Then there's the biological underpinning that occasionally comes with it. Mom was addicted to alcohol, dad was an addict, Uncle Joe was an addict, Aunt Jane was an addict, Grandma and Grandpa were addicts....you're probably genetically predisposed. There's a pattern in your family already. If you come from a long line of addicts, there's probably something that predisposes you do addiction to something. If you never pick up a drug, you might not become addicted to drugs; maybe you become addicted to chocolate (you might be female). You also might be socially/environmentally predisposed because...hell, everyone around you is addicted to something, so there's always a substance around, and you might pick one up early. That's a hard addiction to break, if it's picked up in childhood. I've seen it.

So many people say that it's easy- just don't do it. Choose to live a better lifestyle. Choose to make a difference. Choose to make a change. Sometimes that can be done, with the help of someone else. It's rarely (I say rarely because it can, and does, happen) possible to just wake up one day and decide not to do drugs on your own. It's definitely not possible to extinguish a full-on addiction on your own. That's why we have NA, AA, and all the other groups that deal with various addictions. That's why we have rehab and counseling. People do go there.

That's where the choice lies. Are you going to ask for help? Are you going to let someone stand with you, try to help you find a better way? Are you going to continue to allow addiction ruin your life when there are people who can guide you in other directions? That's where the choice lies. The choice doesn't lie in whether or not the person picks up a needle or a drug when they're already addicted. The choice lies in whether they are ready and willing to accept any help that is given, provided, offered, or available to them, and even then, it may be the lifestyle that they're not willing to give up yet. There is such a lifestyle that comes with the use and abuse of drugs that sometimes, it's very difficult to make that change.

Imagine someone asking you to pick up everything you have, move out of your house (because all of your friends are addicts, and you can't live with addicts), find somewhere else to live, go to rehab, ditch all your friends (again, because they're addicts, and they might try to get you to use again), give up the things that are making you feel good, be in a facility for an extended period of time under a bunch of people watching your every move, then released to move into a place you don't know, where you have to make new friends, re-establish life, probably find a new job (or find a job), you'll probably have to make amends with family members...does that sound easy? If you think it sounds easy...I don't know. I don't know what to think.

I know it was hard enough to pick up and move from the place I lived 9 years ago and move 2 hours away and *try to* make new friends and adjust. Just the picking up and re-establishing part in itself component is difficult enough. This is their lifestyle. Pick up, move, be in a facility, then try to put everything back together? A lot to ask of a person who already has troubles and stress.

So, as far as choice goes, I think that a little more thought needs to go in before someone makes the comment that "it's a choice to be an addict." It's ignorant (and before anyone gets upset- ignorant in this case is not derogatory, it's meant to mean that you really just aren't educated about addiction and what goes along with it, or you just don't understand it). When it comes to making harsh comments like that, think twice. We're all human, and we all make mistakes. Some are bigger than others, and have more impact. Some are more dangerous. Some are more addictive.

Words of Wisduh- July 2011

If any of you have ever been conscious during the summer, you know it sometimes gets hot.

If any of you have ever been conscious during the summer and live in Texas, you know it gets ridiculously hot, most of the time. As you can see in the picture, today is the 20th, and we've only been below 100 twice this month- the first and second. June hovered near or above the triple digits most of the month. It's not the hottest weather we've seen, but it's pretty damn hot (and sunny) (also, if you look, there is not a drop of precipitation this month. We've gotten a mere 1.5 inch in the past 2 months. DRY)

We're almost melting. Credit

Now, for those of you who have to experience the Texas heat (and pretty much any heat like this, like in most of the central states right now), there are some basic rules you should live by, some that I am calling the words of wisduh. I mean, you should know them, but some people still don't get it.

• If it's in a car, it will be hot after 5 minutes. Yes, just 5 minutes. Even if you put it in the shade (for example, under a seat). It's in the sun, and the car is like an oven. It cooks whatever's inside, whether it's in the shade or not
• Referring back to number one, never touch a seatbelt buckle, or, for that matter, the seatbelt, steering wheel, door handle, or any part of a car until you have had a functional (not broken) air con on for at least a few minutes. You will burn yourself.
• If you don't want a sunburn, if you are unusually pale, if you want to avoid skin cancer, and if you want to look young for a while, wear sunscreen. If you tan quickly, if you don't care about sunburns, or if you don't mind your skin aging quickly, by all means, don't wear sunscreen. It's your body.
• Drink water. Drink water or pass out. Then someone will make you drink water (or put you on an IV and not let you drink water when you are thirsty). Best option? Drink water.
• Don't complain about the heat. We all know it's hot. If you mention it, fine. If you're incessantly whining about it, we all want to shoot steaming death rays at you, making it 10x hotter. Then you will have something to whine about. The weather channel is telling us, other people are telling us, our phones are telling us, and we can feel it.
• Pavement is hot. You will get blisters walking on hot pavement without shoes. If you choose to walk on hot pavement without shoes, do not complain to me, because I warned you.
• If you wear long sleeve tees or pants, you will sweat. You will smell disgusting. You will feel hotter. I wear shorts in the summer, sometimes, even though I know that I don't look all that great in them. I don't have the body for it. I wear sleeveless tops. People don't care because it's too hot to care.
• Don't leave your cell phone in your car (or anything valuable, like kids) because they will overheat. However, if your cell phone does overheat but still works, placing it in front of the air con as soon as you turn it on will help to bring the temperature down more quickly. I wouldn't recommend doing this, though. And definitely don't leave anything living in the car. I think that's illegal in most localities. Especially ones where it's hot.
• Don't drive a black car. In fact, don't climb inside anything black, and don't wear black. Black absorbs the heat, white reflects it. It's in the chemistry of the colours. If you climb in a black car, expect to be scalded by everything inside. Thankfully, mine is silver. My sister acquired my brother's old black Mustang. I'm sorry, Courtney.

Ways to beat the heat:

• Go swimming- You're in the water and you don't notice the heat as much. Take note- if you are prone to sunburn and don't want one, stay lathered, because you won't notice if you're getting one, seeing as you won't notice the heat
• Don't go outside and exercise a lot (use indoor facilities)- they may be more expensive, but you can have heat stroke and whatnot much quicker if you're outside, and it's just much more difficult to get much of a workout, unless you like the feeling of dizziness.
• Sit in front of a fan, or in a room with air con- this is my favourite. You can be lazy & cool at the same time. My fave claim is that I am studying (which I often I am, so it's not a lie). Right now, the study of choice is abnormal psych, we are studying somatoform disorders and dissociative disorders, we just finished anxiety disorders today. We're probably having a pop quiz tomorrow, since she told us to make sure we're studying.
• Go out to a place that has air con- like a mall, library, or somewhere where people gather in your town. If you're daring, go to Six Flags or some other theme park, and continuously ride water rides to stay cool, so you're out and about, and still keeping cool.
• Enroll in a summer program at a school. If you're in college, take a summer class. They do have some "fun" summer classes. Not all of them are upper level boring classes. I'm taking mine to graduate, but there are some others that are just for fun, and there are programs for children at the university and community college too.
• If you DO go somewhere outside, carry around those little fans that shoot water, water bottles, drinks, and anything else that will help to keep you hydrated, cool, and comfortable. If you want to avoid sunburn, wear a hat and appropriate clothing and/or sunscreen.

If you want to be brave like me, wear a tank top, shorts, no sunscreen, and flip flops, and walk around all day outside. I just know I'll end up with skin cancer one day.....BUT I keep water with me (or some other light drink, like green tea, or lemonade), and I frequently take a water ride at Six Flags, or a dip in the pool; I keep myself cool. I also know there are risks with medication, so I keep myself aware of how I'm feeling and whatnot. If I need to sit, I sit. If I need air con, I find the nearest building where I can bathe in the cool air. If I need more water, I drink more water. I keep anything I want to keep cool with me, because I know it'll fry in my car.

They show (almost every year) a segment where they fry something on the dashboard of a car, or on a sidewalk, to dramatize how hot it gets outside. It's pretty awesome, but it doesn't keep people from doing stupid stuff. People still keep stuff (or kids) in their car. I left my phone in there the other day (but was able to quickly cool it off with the air con, thank goodness). People still grab seatbelt buckles and exclaim "ow!" as if it was something new. People get surprised at sunburns when they've been in the sun all day (I was going for the sunbathed look, so I'm not shocked). My sister complained about the blisters on the bottom of her feet from walking on the hot ground barefoot...and was just a few days later running around outside barefoot again. WTF child?!?! (she will probably read this and not comment or comment anonymously).

It's summer people. It's hot. Things outside get hot. That's what happens. It's nothing new. It happened last year, and the year before that. People act like it's something new and startling, and that's what gets me...I'll probably have to repeat the same thing next year. Because I'll see the same people doing the same thing.

Thank goodness for light colours, flip flops, shorts, water, fans, air con, swimming pools, shoes, shade, and the fact that summer doesn't last all year, just most of it!

Deuces

Lost in Stereo(types)**

When I say "Canada" or "Alaska," what are some of the things that we first think of? Naturally, a lot of the people who don't live there will think of ice or snow. Even though I've never been there, and I know that they don't always have ice and snow, I know it's pretty damn cold up there compared to what it is here, typically.

When people think of Texas, and often other Southern states, they think of heavy, thick accents, horses, tumbleweeds (for Texas in particular), Country, and rednecks. Personally, this gets on my nerves. I know that is sort of a double standard, for me to associate Canada with cold, Aussies with awesome accents, Florida with people who aren't so swift***, Ohio with cheese (and The Blog O' Cheese really helped with that one....!! He's really one of my faves though =P He's awesome), but it's really difficult for me when people stereotype Texas.

It's also difficult for me when people stereotype things that aren't necessarily geographical, like physical or mental issues. People with physical limitations aren't always limited by them. People with mental problems aren't always depressed. People with either problem don't always see it as a problem, and sometimes they're the most functional and successful people in society. A lot of the most successful therapists and counselors have had drug addictions counselors, therapists, or some kind of other problem that a "normal" person would think of as a issue that would hold them back.

The thing is, these things are exactly what push these people push forward, push harder to succeed. The things that may have held me in a state of "oh no, I can't function" are exactly the things that have pushed me to succeed in obtaining a degree in the field of social work. A lot of the guys in the work that I do, they see the things I've said and done, and in the end, the ones that hang in there, some of them have said that they'd like to help others with addictions when they're able to get degrees in the future. Some of the people I work with have histories of their own, stories to tell. Everyone has something that they've overcome, but they don't let their problems define who they are. They let their success define who they are.

These stereotypes, they are a silly thing. We all get caught up in them, and we all get caught up in them at one time or another. People are expected to look, act, or speak a certain way. When people see me, they expect me to be younger than I really am, just because of my appearance. That's a stereotype. If you haven't seen me, you can look at my vlog here. Yes, I look and sound very young, and that's something I have to overcome on a day-to-day basis. I've lived in Texas most of my life. Do I sound Texan? Not really. To foreigners, I sound American. That's about as close as I usually get.

Sometimes, we let stereotypes set in and really define people, and sometimes, they let those stereotypes get to them. They finally start following those groups, and it's unfortunate when they get caught up in something like drugs, addiction, or crime, simply because of their appearance, neighborhood, or family. Somehow, that has to stop. I've seen far too many that are in treatment simply because they live in the wrong place, but they have nowhere else to go. Everyone that lives around them is in the drug culture, and it is really difficult to avoid. There are the types that get caught up in crime because that's the only way that they can afford to live; mom spends their food money elsewhere, and they've got too many kids in the family to go elsewhere. They got framed. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and they LOOKED guilty. Looked guilty? Really? It's really unfortunate.

When it comes to this, some of those silly stereotypes, like my accent, become secondary. how can we avoid these children growing up in the wrong environment get involved in a healthier environment, so as to avoid them being involved in any type of environment where they'd be associated with crime or drugs? This was part of one of my papers last year, and is related to an assignment this semester that I'm already brainstorming.

The point is, though, don't let a stereotype define who you are, and definitely don't let it define anyone else. I look much [edit]older YOUNGER (thank you mom for pointing this error out, I do not look older) than I really am. Even though I am about to complete a degree, I've had my own struggles, some of which people might think would keep a person from getting a degree. I'm not rich, despite my locality. I don't have a horse, and have never ridden one to my knowledge, despite living in Texas since 1994. I don't own boots or a hat, although I love my blue jeans. I lack a Texan drawl, and y'all is not a word that is spoken much in my language, unless I'm saying "I usually don't say that word." I'm far from skinny, but it's not from eating greasy hamburgers- aside from my mom's, which she doesn't make often, I cannot tell you the last time I had a hamburger, because it has been quite a while. I am not the stereotypical college student- I took 6 years instead of 4. I don't like iced tea or Dr. Pepper, or even coffee. In fact, I'm starting to have an aversion to soda in general, because none of it has carbonation, thanks to something that I'm taking. Hopefully, it'll help me to lose weight. I am an intern, but I do far more than paperwork. In fact, paperwork is one of the smaller parts of my job. I also love reading. Stereotypes? I don't fit most of them.

A few I do fit: I'm excited about graduation. My favorite color is blue. I like looking nice. I still have my parents, all my grandparents, a brother, and a sister, and live in a house. I'm shy, but I talk a lot when I get to know people. It's easier for me to talk to someone over the internet because I can't see them. I type pretty fast (typically 70-80 wpm, although sometimes it's as low as 60). This is a difficult task. It's hard to find the stereotypes I do fit. Stereotypes are difficult to place people in because they are very rarely true!

Next time you think about putting a person in a stereotype, stop to think about what you know about that stereotype, and instead, ask the person questions about themselves in general. People like to talk about themselves, not their stereotype. A person is themselves, not a product of those around them, and that is an important thing to remember when getting to know them.

Credit here

**This is a reference to the song "Lost in Stereo"
***I was born in Florida. Therefore, in applying this statement, I am also incriminating myself. I am in no way trying to offend anyone, and if I had no ties to Florida, and if I had not been born in Jacksonville, I would not be making that statement

Tidbits of it all

I'm in one of those moods where my brain is a little bit of everywhere today, you know?

We had a snake create a habitation in our garage recently. I was a little peeved, and afraid to walk in the garage for a few days. In fact, I wasn't comfortable for a few days, until I had been reassured with the gruesome story of his death, although I would rather not have heard the story. We also had the aircon go out on the side of the house where my room is at, making it like an oven in the triple digit Texas weather, but I survived, and spent most of my time away from home in air-conditioned areas. It is now fixed, and I am comfortable. Thank goodness!

So, I had some appointments at the university today before my first class of the summer semester. I ran into some really bad drivers. No, I did not literally run into them, although I somewhere, deep down, probably wish someone else ran into them, because they were kind of asshats. You know, the people that can't stand waiting in line, so they just jump out of line and drive around everyone else, whether it's safe or not? Both of them were driving Mercury Le Sabres.**

Afterward, I went to fill up on gas, since my gas gauge was kind of telling me it was time for some food. There was this creepy guy on the other side of the pump, and he asked me if I could loan him some money to fill his tank, but I told him I didn't know how much money was in my account, and I couldn't afford to overdraft (which was being absolutely honest, so at least I wasn't lying). As I was pumping gasoline into my car, the cops pulled up, and approached the guy. He was sitting in the cab of his truck, waiting. They asked him what was going on with him begging other people to buy him a tank of gas, and he told them he was out of gas and had no money. They told him he shouldn't approach people like that. I don't know if they left or what, but I made sure to keep track of my total, $31.86, just in case this guy crept around after me to try to fill up on my card. I really couldn't afford it.

I went to my social work class. 'Tis going to be a challenge. Heavy group paper due in July, where we have to create some kind of intervention for something that we believe is a chronic problem. We have to create a personal kind of thing where we talk about our identity and what makes us who we are, what makes us want to be social workers, and create a pie chart of how much we think each little part influences us. We have to write a paper evaluating the effectiveness of our agency. We also have to write a letter to a "prospective" incoming intern (ie We're not putting names on it or anything), including things we want to tell them and whatnot. Have I mentioned that this is on top of completing our internship hours and supervision and going to class? Plus I have another class in the second half of the summer. This will be a challenge. 2 months until graduation. 2 months. 2 months.

Speaking of, I found out when my commencement will be, even though it will be long after I receive my actual degree. I'm still sort of excited!! December 16, 2011. Yay Class of 2011!!! (Please, please let me pass...lmao)

So...life will be busy. Blogs may be scarce. I will try to do as much as possible. I may do most of my posting on the weekends, even though that's really my reserved "homework time" (as of right now anyway). Is anyone else doing anything interesting over the summer? Taking on any big projects?

See how frequently I'm switching around? That's kind of how I am lately. Really having a hard time staying on topic. Recent changes probably won't help that, but I'm okay with that. I'm a little scattered, but I'm getting everything done, and that's all that matters in the end. Now I just have to be certain I can keep up with and remember everything. I also need a creative idea for my personal identity thing. A creative way to present it, I mean. I have a lot of creative people read this, so maybe someone will suggest something (this is the part where someone jumps down to the comments and suggests something...soon....it's due the 21st....thank you and I pre-emptively love you)

Oh, and I like this new blogger in draft thing. It's really cool. Blogger, if you see this, keep mine like this. Please. It's much easier to navigate. Thank you. ***

**I have nothing against Mercury or Le Sabres. I just happened to notice that both of them were driving the same color, make, and model of a vehicle.
***Despite the ease of navigation, I am still having issues reading some of the blogs I'm following. What's the deal with that? I'm getting frustrated.