21 September 2011

Why, World?

I wrote last week about velocity, and how it feels like time is flying.

Alas, while it seems like time is flying, it feels like the world is moving and shaking without me. Why?

Ever since I graduated from the university, I've been searching for jobs, working on my resumé, and trying to pull everything together for a successful future, but it feels like I'm not going anywhere, while the rest of the world is doing their thing, making their way, going about their business and leaving me behind. Why?

I feel less a part of the world than I ever have before. Why does it have to be this way?

In the past, during breaks and whatnot, I've held jobs, or done extra classes, or something that brings me into interaction with the outside. Now I'm just inside most of the time, with a rare interaction with the outside. These rare interactions are with the same few people. I'm watching the world go by, and it's quite lonely in my little pod, my little corner. Why?

Some might think, and I've been told "Oh, you're being pampered! It must be so much easier! Things must be great for you!" Why would it be this way?

They're not. It's not a great feeling to look around and see everyone's progress while you still have a lump of clay in front of you, completely unmolded, as though you haven't even begun to try, while all the while, you've been working with it, trying to make something that looks real, something that is functional, something that makes sense, something that you like and that you think will be satisfying. It's heartbreaking and difficult to know that you can't keep up with the world in motion, the world passing you by.

Hello world, I wish I could keep up with you....



To the Toy Box and Beyond said...

great post I have no advice but just encouragement that things will get better Good luck

Ames said...

Hopefully things will get better after the next election.~Ames

Dana @ Bungalow'56 said...

I loved your analogy to a lump of clay. Brilliant. A few nuggets from an Old Fogie. You will figure it out. Somehow some way this is preparing you for something. And when you look back you will be thankful. Just always be prepared for the unexpected.

Anonymous said...

Ashley, I think you're in good company. It seems like we are going through one shock after the other. If it's not a natural disaster, then it's a manmade one. As soon as it looks like the economy might be recovering, we have another setback. It's downright depressing! My only suggestion is obvious--get out more. Work on an old hobby or start a new one. Volunteer maybe?? The more people you meet, the larger your network of referrals might be. You never know where the next opportunity might come from. Good luck to you!

Unknown said...

Nice post :)


Esther Joy said...

Great things are made out of lumps of clay! Don't be discouraged. Somewhere in the Bible in the book of Jeremiah God says, "I know the plans that I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future." I may not have quoted that exactly, but I think you get the gist of it. Just don't be afraid to keep trying and never give up!

H said...

Being out of work is depressing; especially when you have trained so hard to earn good qualifications, but don't give up.

My advice would be to get out and volunteer. It will keep your mind and body active while you apply for jobs, give you a new social network and look good on your CV - all at the same time as helping out your community! Not all voluntarty work has to be long term or even many hours a week. Plus, there's some fun stuff out there.

Hope all goes well.

Jenny said...

Ashley! Don't get discouraged. It is tough right now but I love H's idea!

What about doing externships or volunteering in areas that you'd like to eventually be employed in?

Network everywhere...with everyone...don't be shy.

You seem like a wonderfully talented young woman! I suspect things will turn around for you quite soon!

Thanks for sharing your heart here!

Sending you a hug and a prayer of encouragement along with your...


Jenny said...

Gosh, I have no idea where my comments are going this morning.

I was actually going to suggest what H wrote. Volunteer, mentor, talk to everybody and anybody, keep a biz card with you at all times, see what kind of organizations might 'bump shoulders' with where you want to be...sign up, show up, hold your head up.

You're gonna do great!

Keep going.

And don't stop believing in yourself.

Thanks for sharing your heart here!


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