Home sweet homework

Now that I'm back in Texas, I'm a bit disappointed. I didn't do much "relaxing" on my weekend off. I did gamble the whole weekend on $20 (plus $10 one casino gave me for having a November birthday, lol). Other than that, though, all I did was the homework I could without an Internet connection or jump drive. It seems I just don't know how to take a break.

My biology prof gave me some food for thought today- see, fire is one of the few things that decomposes trees (besides certain fungi and Protista that live in termites- the termites cannot digest the wood, the Protista inside them do). She claimed that when we stopped letting the habitat use fires when necessary by letting them burn naturally, we are allowing sick trees to live because their environment won't support any of the other decomposers. This is an interesting thought...if we let fires burn until they endangered humans, what would the environment look like?

On another topic, my brother has claimed that it is people who drive slow whom are the ones causing most accidents. I can see how this is true among certain cases, such as those who slow down to text while they're driving, or those who are lost and paying more attention to street signs than traffic, but I don't think this is a generalization that can be made about all drivers. He thinks that if the speed limits were raised, it would be safer to drive. I disagree with this viewpoint- if you have a busy town and create a high speed limit, it won't eliminate traffic like he claims, or make it any safer. When going faster, the driver has less time to respond to the environment around them, and it's harder to predict what will happen. There will be those who drive even faster, weaving in and out of other cars, putting everyone in danger. There will still be people that drive slow.

I just don't see how a higher speed limit can be safer and prevent traffic. I mean, taking a look at highway driving through the cities; the speed limit may be 65-70, but along highways like I35W north and southbound through Fort Worth- when it's busy, it doesn't matter what the speed limit is, 50 or 70, you're still going to be driving at a snail's pace. What difference would raising the speed limit make?? If there are a lot of cars, there are a lot of cars, and that's that.

I also thought I'd mention something funny that my dad said- that Fox News is a reliable and honest source that presents all angles of politics, and that everything is factual- when, in fact, they present anything that doesn't fit their super-conservative perspective in a negative light, just convincing its viewers further that their ideology is the only proper ideology, and that all others are ruining the country. I'll have to find some vids or something where they present the liberal viewpoint- which will be a task itself- and prove just how biased they are. When I proposed this idea, he immediately jumped to the accusations (again) that my liberal professors are "brainwashing" me. Honestly? I take their views into consideration, I take conservative views into consideration, and I make up my own mind, which puts me outside the bipartisan system, because my views just don't fall within the spectrum of either party. To extreme conservatives like them, though, I am perceived as a threat, and my views, which are very much I the middle because I'm not extreme enough to fall elsewhere, seem extremely liberal- it's all about perspective. It's simply because I'm not nearly as conservative that they are. A liberal would probably see me as a conservative, and the conservatives would consider me a liberal.

Honestly, though? I don't see why it matters. I'm not the one destroying anything. I like the consideration of multiple viewpoints, and since my beliefs aren't usually represented, I choose to not become part of the sheeple that vote one way or the other because heir parents did, or because of ethnicity or gender like some do; some even vote for the other candidate simply because the first is ugly, or old, or has a big nose. What kind of politics is that?

I think that if they have enough prestige and knowledge to get to the election candidacy, then they are probably (key word being probably) competent enough to hold he office. Besides, none of our votes individually count- it's not the popular votes that win, it's the votes made by the electoral college. I can vote liberal 100 times in my county, which is very conservative, and I'd still lose the popular vote, and the representative, who is supposed to, generally, vote according to what their constituents would vote, would still vote the same. The popular vote is just a way to make people believe that their vote really does count, and many actually believe it.

Anyways, politics aren't exactly my cup of tea, so I'll change topics now.

I'm considering graduate school, once I get my BSW (Bachelor's of Social Work), but I'm not exactly sure whether I'll be able to. For one hing, graduate school is extremely expensive, and means additional schooling. It also means I probably won't be able to successfully hold a job- meaning less income, and living with my parents even longer. I think I've already overstayed my welcome. Besides, I've been dying for years to be on my own and away from my family enough to appreciate them more, instead of being around them constantly and getting exasperated of them. There's also my GPA, which is horrendous, not because I neglected school, but because my mental condition, coupled with a tendency to overwork myself and desire to do everthing and succeed, led to a detrimental downward spiral, very similar to the one I'm experiencing now, which hindered my academic performance tremendously. I often wonder what I could have done different that would fix things, but he only thing I can think of is lowering my goals, which seems disappointing and depressing.

I'm having trouble again now, because I'm taking upper level classes that no student should ever take concurrently, and expecting so much out of myself that it's draining me. Hence, my weekend off was spent doing not much more than homework and a few hours of gambling (oh, and 13-14 hours on the road, where I can't read). It's going to negatively affect something because I didn't work enough, and I'm already far enough behind. So, instead of being happy to be home, I'm quite frustrated and stressed because I've accomplished nothing, and now, if I try to take a rest, I'll be destroying everything. I just don't know what to do anymore....