I'm facing the ever so difficult "writer's block".
This time, though, I'm not actually trying to create a blog. I'm trying to write a diagnosis. It's a case study for my psychology class, and it's almost like I don't know where to get started.
What's wrong with that? I worked for a while with assessments and whatnot, and I had to write a case study last year which was very similar. Why, then, is it so difficult for me to write this diagnosis this semester? Is it the anxiety factoring in because this is my last university assignment? Is it because I'm actually being graded on this one?
I finished my jurisprudence exam last night, which was much more tedious and boring, with no problems. 126 questions about the legal stuff, and I had to spend 30 seconds on each question (which is a lot, if you read as quickly as I do & the questions are multiple choice). I filled out the applications and got all the references, now I just need a dean's letter (which I won't be able to get until Monday, because the secretary was out today), and I can mail out the application and a check.
This is hurting me more than that. What's the deal? I've written enough papers to stretch to China and back. I've finished almost 20 years worth of assignments throughout school (wow, I'm almost 24 already?!?!). I can't figure out what is holding up this last, final, tiny piece of my education that could make or break me (it's worth 1/4 of my grade). What is it that is causing such anxiety that I can't even begin to start this case study? I even know the woman has extreme obsessive-compulsive tendencies stemming from her childhood; these are based on social and psychological underpinnings, as well as a trauma that she witnessed in early adulthood that causes her to overprotect her children. So why can't I put that into a paper? Why can't I support it with evidence?
I've been trying and trying to get a start on this for a long time, but it eludes me. Everything about it seems so...distant and difficult, yet I know it's not. I'm just putting too much pressure on myself, yet I know that it's easy and I can do it.
Oh, the things that the knowledge of graduating soon is doing to my already mushy brain.
I can count it on one hand now.
The anxiety increases.
Final exam Thursday.