Are You OK? Part Cuatro

What do you do if someone's not ok?

So you do strike up that conversation on RUOK Day...but someone isn't ok.

Well, one thing you can do is talk to them, and find out what's bothering them. Maybe they're just not feeling OK, maybe they just need someone to talk to. After all, sometimes we all just need to talk a little, right? The day is about suicide prevention, but suicide prevention can start with working on mental illness itself- after all, according to the American National Institute on Mental Health, over 90% (yes, you read that right, and I highlighted it with large font for a reason) of suicides have a precursor of mental illness or substance abuse.

This means that the suicides that we're trying to prevent- bravo!- often follow along with mental illness and substance abuse. While asking a person if they're doing okay can prevent suicide, it can also bring a person out of a rut, or perhaps target those with mental health or substance abuse disorders that haven't been brought out of the background yet- however, a number of exactly how many people are walking around undiagnosed with a mental illness cannot be found...because they are undiagnosed....ie not on record.

RUOK Day is great for this- it can help bring these people to realize- hey wait, maybe there is a problem. It can help them to realize it's okay to have an issue, and it's okay to have a conversation about it! It can help to possibly bring them out of a rut and into the world, where they may actually seek help for their disorder, or the conversation itself may include encouragement to seek help (hopefully the latter, if they are that far off).

RUOK Day gives a chance for people who are undiagnosed and living behind the scenes to be themselves and discuss their problems without the stigma of being "ill" or "crazy". It's often the misconception of the people who refuse to seek treatment that this is the kind of label they will receive- having talked to some of them myself- and therefore they refuse medication or treatment.

Initiatives like this help them to realize that having a mental illness is not something that is all that uncommon, and will not prevent them from living a full and possibly even happy life. They can help people, they can work jobs, they can go places and not be recognized for what's going on in their heads- they just have to allow themselves to realize that what's going on is not their fault. It's wonderful that Australia not only encourages their citizens to go out and engage in conversations, but creates an entire day and promotes it nationwide, even having companies and schools set aside times for citizens to sit down and ask people if they are doing okay, and catch up with people who might not be doing so okay.

This is an excellent way to catch out people who may be dealing with a mental illness early on and get them the help they need, whether they seek it or need help seeking it, and is also a great initiative for getting people to help others and reach out when a friend is in need. I've noticed that Australia is a very caring country, and how well people bond together when there is a need or disaster- they are there for each other- there is no blaming or people pushing others out. People simply jump in and help one another.

This is simply one example of how well Australians do that- citizens are jumping in and helping one another, crisis or not, asking people if they are doing okay, helping them if they need help, encouraging them to seek help if they can, all in an effort to decrease suicide and help relieve mental illness, a large factor of suicide, in the country. One conversation can do something like that. It's amazing what one conversation can do.

Are You OK? Part Drei

Are You OK?

Don't let the answer be the end of the conversation.

This Australian cause is more than just going around and asking random people if they are ok. It is about sparking conversation, and talking about things that matter. It is about talking about the things that affect lives every day- mental illness and suicide- things that are normally brushed under the rug.

Of course, "Are you OK?" is an easy way to start such a conversation, but it certainly isn't the end. People are encouraged to stay and talk with their friends, colleagues, family members, and discuss things that are going on, and things that are troubling them. As mentioned in an earlier blog, this cause last year alone sparked 65,000 conversations- a number pulled from the RUOK Day website, which you can link to from the top of my page this month, and it is also under my "Causes" tab.

These things- mental illness and suicide- are not things that people will often approach you to talk about- often you will have to approach them and ask them how they are doing, build a bond if there is not already one, and ensure faith and confidence. This day helps to pull people from the woodworks- people whom everyone else normally wouldn't talk to- and help them out a bit. It would be nice if people would talk to these sort of people every sort of day, but this is a baby step in that direction.

What this day encourages is friendly conversation, more than just a simple hello. Some people get little more than a hello on a daily basis, and it's quite sad- sometimes this alone can drive depression and other mental illnesses. Engaging in friendly conversation is a healthy and vital part of a person's social life. Reaching out to others who might not have this in their life will help to enhance their life, and quite possibly save them.

This is not just a problem in Australia. Worldwide, there are people who are isolating- some people stay alone for the majority of their day- caregivers, people with social anxiety or agoraphobia, people with disabilities- they have trouble getting out. For me, it would be encouraging to see people not only reach out to those that they see sitting outside or at work, but maybe ring a friend, or a family member that they know doesn't get out much, and ask them how they're doing, have a decent conversation with them, and possibly be their lifeline. You may be the only person they have had a meaningful conversation with in months.

If you can keep up this sort of habit, that would be even better. Perhaps phone once or twice a week, check in on a caregiver or someone who has social anxiety, see if they've done anything, who they've talked to, or even what shows they've watched on TV, how they're feeling, what other kinds of things they've done, what they're interested in doing, etc. Reaching out to someone isn't limited to one day a year, but it's a great place to start.

And reaching out to someone isn't limited to the words "Are you Okay?" These words are just a way to start a meaningful conversation- other words can be used too- "Hey, how's it going?", "Hey, haven't seen you in a while!", "Hey, what have you been up to?"- these are all conversations that could spark conversations. The conversation is just as important as the start. If you leave someone with just the "Are you okay?" and a bleak, meaningless "yeah, I guess"...then you haven't really done much. Question into it, or ask what's troubling them, and you might find more. They might actually appreciate having someone ask about it. Don't push, but let them talk.

Often I find that someone will pass with "Hey, how are you?" and I'll say "OK, I guess" but by the time I've answered, they're already out of earshot. What good has that done? The initiative isn't to just ask a question- the initiative is to make a difference. So go out there, make a difference, ask questions, and engage. You might learn new things, change a day, or change a life. The important thing is, you'll make a difference.

Books over toys

Day 7: Your favorite childhood toys

I honestly don't remember having any favorite toys. I remember having barbies, but they were always put away. I remember having Polly Pockets, but they were always in my bottom desk drawer. My favorite toys were books. I loved my books. Dictionaries, encyclopedias, fiction, anything I could get my hands on.

Yes, I was a very strange child indeed.

I still am very strange. Half my moving out and moving back in when we were recarpeting involved books. I had more books than anything else. I was too ashamed to count how many boxes of books I actually had. Not to mention binders and notebooks...

I write. I read. I love words. I can't remember a time when this wasn't true. I knew how to spell hippopotamus in kindergarten. I was exempt from a spelling test in 4th grade because I was the only person in the class to spell chlorophyll correctly. I took pride in spelling acetylsalicylic acid correctly in the 6th grade, antidisestablishmentarianism in the 5th. In high school, I almost made it to state, but rendezvous kicked my butt, although I got flibbertigibbet, among other words (we didn't get those back). I've taken pride in learning hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia and pneunonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

I continue to search. My bookshelf hasn't stopped growing. My love for books hasn't, either. Even when college textbooks were abound, there was always an astray fiction book...I couldn't let go.

In that way, I'm still a child. I still play with my toys. In a way, I'm becoming more of a child, because I love stuffed animals so much more now. I'm attached to my sock monkey- he's even been featured here a few times. As for actual toys...I still haven't come up with any really. Are rollerblades toys? I went rollerblading when I was a tween, with my friend. I'd never go back there, though. Or maybe we could consider my laptop a toy.

OK, I'm sounding way too geeky now.

Deuces!!

Blogoversary- Giving Back

If you've been keeping up, you know that today, 4th September 2011, is my 1st blogoversary!!

I'm delighted (and surprised) to have made it as far as I have, with as much success as I have had, especially in the past few months. I started out my endeavor small, although I'm still really not all that big. To this day I bring in fewer than 200 people, some of them just dropping in, but as a blogoversary thing, I've checked on some stats recently:

In September of 2010, I brought in a total of 183 views, and December 187. Those were my highest traffic months, the only ones more than 80, until April 2011. Just yesterday I brought in 105, and the day before 189. My followers? Most of them have started following me since June & July. I've also set up a Facebook fan page- almost 50 likes already. I'm tickled! Numbers, numbers, that's not all that matters, though.

Before March there were absolutely no comments- content or not. I was writing simply because. I cared about my numbers, but I didn't know if people were reading. Since then, I've gotten 362 comments- yes, I've gotten some of the spammy ones, but I've gotten a lot that have content too. Some have made me laugh, some have made me cry. That people care, and leave comments with content that can evoke emotion...it's really nice.

I've also been more engaged on Twitter since my blog has been more engaged. Through my blog and through Twitter I've met more people that I never would have met otherwise- after all, they do live overseas, or out-of-state. I love having conversations with them. Some of them are the best friends I have.

But that's enough of that, right? Blogoversary- It's more of a type of birthday, but for a blog. But my blog doesn't want any type of gift...rather, it wants people to give back. Read on to see what I mean.

As part of my "blogoversary" one of the things I want to do is start a blog hop of my own. I know we all see blog hops, and one of the things about the blog hops that I see here in the US is that they tend to be "giveaway" related, or that you are "required" to visit about a billion other blogs, even those that link up after you, meaning you have to keep visiting the hop repeatedly after you link up until you've visited enough people to meet the requirement...a bit tedious? They also require that you follow the host, and the host tends to be a giveaway or coupon blogger, who only posts giveaway or coupon blogs...which clogs up the feeds...my feed has been clogged with giveaways and coupons for goodness knows how long. I attend them because I like finding new blogs. Sometimes I happen to find new blogs that I like there, by chance, so I continue to link up in hopes of finding blogs I like.

Well, it's high time I start one of my own...

Seeing as I'm all about doing things for other people, and helping people out, this is my idea-

I want you to do one good thing for someone, no matter how small- hold a door, lend a dollar, fix a meal, talk to someone who looks like they need a friend, help unpack a box, write a letter, donate some clothes that you haven't worn that are still in good condition, anything you can think of, and write about it. Each week, after you've done something little, write about it- what you did, and what came out of it- if you don't know, then write that, because sometimes you don't know- and link it up to the hop. We'll each be able to see the good things that someone else did, and even if you didn't do something, I'll encourage you to link up to a blog- because what matters is that we're making a connection. I would like everyone to do something little, and write about it, but I won't require it. I would like you to link up a blog about something small you did, but I won't require it. I will encourage you to visit someone else, but I won't require it.

In order to give people time to do something and write about it, I'll leave it open three days- American Monday to American Wedensday- that's Aussie Tuesday to Aussie Thursday- and like I said, even if you don't have a chance to do something every week, you can still link up. I will say that even doing something with or for your family members does count- spending a day out with the kids counts, for example.

The idea of this, really, is to do something that makes someone else feel good, or that helps them out. If you didn't know already, that's something that I'm really enthusiastic about. Just the effort is really important to me, because I know that not every effort is going to be successful, but trying is what really counts. I also know that not everyone has a lot of spare time to do something like this, but I would like to encourage it. Therefore, I'm not making it a requirement, just a request. I will probably debut the hop not this week, but next week- just to get some ideas and feedback on it- after all, it is a new-ish idea. I'm open to what people have to say.

I'd like this to be a way not only for people to be introduced to other people's blogs, but also for people to see what others are doing. All small things make a difference.

~"Nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something." -Author Unknown
~"Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you." -Mother Teresa
~"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -Mahatma Gandhi
~"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back." -Maya Angelou

School of Thought

Kids are going to hate me for this.

Summer break is so very unproductive. I know that having 2-3 months off sounds and looks great to a kid, but really, it's like a 2-3 month drain on their brain. They go back to school having forgotten a lot of things, and, having gone to school through summer the past few years, I rather like having a summer schedule to keep me going through the year. Perhaps having a month or so off would do some good, but more than a month is not much good at all.

I know that children are really good at picking things up and learning things, especially when they're younger. The things they can learn are amazing! Once they get to middle or high school, they don't pick things up as quickly (although they still pick things up more quickly than an adult would). Nevertheless, all the kids (at least most of them in the United States) typically get a break from sometime in late May or early June until late August or early September.

During this time, unless they are on some type of honors track (or punished into taking summer school), they take a break and...do nothing. They go swimming, take vacations, sometimes they sit around and complain how bored they are (guilty). They go to camp, they hang out with friends, but do they use any of that stuff that they learnt during the school year? Not really. Then, when they go back to school, they have to ease their way back into things. They start out slow, especially the first week.

I remember the first time I had to do a summer reading assignment because I took Advanced Placement classes. I was so unhappy with it, and I put it off until the last minute, all the while complaining about how bored I was with summer vacation. I didn't do anything for math, science, or history. My second year of high school, I moved to a different district, so I didn't get the summer reading assignment, and I had to do it very quickly after school started, putting me at a disadvantage. My junior year of high school, I did go to band camp, pushing my summer reading assignment forward, and the same with senior year.

In college, the classes were more varied, but I usually worked during the summer. Up until 2009, I had a job during the summer, so I didn't have the same idle time during the summer that I had up until then. I think it was a change for the better, because summers were no longer slow and long (although I got a break that was quite a bit longer- early May to almost September).

Then, in 2010, I took summer classes. When I went back in the fall, I didn't have the lazy summer brain that I had experienced before. By lazy summer brain, I mean the "I'm still in summer mode, I want to go back to summer vacation so I can sleep all the time and not really do much of anything" mentality. It was refreshing. I jumped right into the coursework, and although I kind of wished for a break, I also was kind of happy that I didn't have to go through the change in mentality that comes from a long break. I haven't had a long break since, not longer than a month anyway, and it's great. I feel more prepared for my classes when I don't have that break.

I think that if these kids had short breaks more often, as college has, instead of having the long, long summer break, they might fare better in school. They'd also be able to take trips more often, and they could stagger so that way everyone wouldn't be taking trips at the same time. I know that year-round schooling isn't a new idea, that it's been introduced, and a lot of people aren't fans, but looking back, I kind of wish that I had it. Besides, in Texas, it would have given refuge on those 110 degree days that we tend to experience quite often, in a nice air conditioned building.

Coming from a person who has experienced the long summer breaks vs. short semester breaks, I, by far, prefer the short semester breaks. Of course, kids might protest that, but they probably don't realize that they'd get the same amount of time on break, just spread out more over the year. It would also make it easier for kids to advance at their own place, and enter/exit schools as necessary. To me, it seems like there would be a lot of advantages, but hey, I could be wrong. I don't know everything, but I do know that from what I have seen, it might just be a better thing.

Group philosophy

Teachers and professors like to give out group projects. They say it helps develop teamwork or something like that. That's a complete bullshit lie. It does nothing for teamwork. It does develop skills where you can sense when a person isn't going to pull their weight and you are going to have to do their work for them, and it also helps those people develop the skills of picking a group member that they know will overachieve and do all the work for them so they can sit back and relax. That's what it does.

It also creates a larger assignment where one person ends up doing all the work, while the others pretend like they're doing all the work, and perhaps they contribute a scattering of information, but for the most part, the brunt of the work is left to the smart, hardworking, or, if you're in college, jobless group member. Usually, it ends up being me, because I end up getting exasperated with the other people waiting til the last minute to start, then not contributing much. In fact, I get the feeling one of my group members from the past has gotten a failing grade on a project we did together because I was persistent through the semester in letting the professor know what was going on, and she could see it when we were working. Thankfully. But not all professors are like that.

Sometimes, they make ways to circumvent this, like "oh, well you won't have to speak during the presentation, how does that sound?" OK, so you've cut yourself, what, 5 minutes of work compared to my research and preparation of a PowerPoint presentation and usually a paper and bibliography to accompany it? Sure, that's fair! Or I'll get "I'll put together the PowerPoint if you just give me all the information!" Ok, so I gather all the information, and you'll just put it on the screen for me? How nice of you!

It has made me have a very bitter taste for group projects. I tried to get into another group for this one, but the others already had their idea in place and were vigorously working, and I didn't have any choice left. I knew when they tried to put me out of the group that they would do this to me. I don't know; they may already have something put together behind my back, because they're pretty close friends, and when they turn it in, they'll make it look like I didn't do any work at all on it because I'll be clueless as to what I'm doing. Yea, that would suck too.

Alas, I have to learn to work with groups. I have no problem with working with groups, so long as the other people are pulling their weight too. I've had a few that had everyone pulling their weight, and the outcome was fantastic! This doesn't seem to happen very often, though, and it's depressing when you realize after a few weeks that your group isn't going to do anything, and you'll just have to pick up the dead-weight.

This means that my last few weeks, I've got a huge project to complete, by myself basically. They've got the summary of the idea, but they haven't contacted me at all, and all they have is an outline of the idea. They have no sources, no structure, nothing. I'm disappointed.

Last tidbit of information: My last social work class that I have to attend is August 9, and my final for abnormal psych is August 11. I have 18 days, 12 hours left until I'm done with my classes. YAY!!!!!!!

Deuces,