Books over toys

Day 7: Your favorite childhood toys

I honestly don't remember having any favorite toys. I remember having barbies, but they were always put away. I remember having Polly Pockets, but they were always in my bottom desk drawer. My favorite toys were books. I loved my books. Dictionaries, encyclopedias, fiction, anything I could get my hands on.

Yes, I was a very strange child indeed.

I still am very strange. Half my moving out and moving back in when we were recarpeting involved books. I had more books than anything else. I was too ashamed to count how many boxes of books I actually had. Not to mention binders and notebooks...

I write. I read. I love words. I can't remember a time when this wasn't true. I knew how to spell hippopotamus in kindergarten. I was exempt from a spelling test in 4th grade because I was the only person in the class to spell chlorophyll correctly. I took pride in spelling acetylsalicylic acid correctly in the 6th grade, antidisestablishmentarianism in the 5th. In high school, I almost made it to state, but rendezvous kicked my butt, although I got flibbertigibbet, among other words (we didn't get those back). I've taken pride in learning hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia and pneunonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

I continue to search. My bookshelf hasn't stopped growing. My love for books hasn't, either. Even when college textbooks were abound, there was always an astray fiction book...I couldn't let go.

In that way, I'm still a child. I still play with my toys. In a way, I'm becoming more of a child, because I love stuffed animals so much more now. I'm attached to my sock monkey- he's even been featured here a few times. As for actual toys...I still haven't come up with any really. Are rollerblades toys? I went rollerblading when I was a tween, with my friend. I'd never go back there, though. Or maybe we could consider my laptop a toy.

OK, I'm sounding way too geeky now.

Deuces!!

Religion- A Controversial Topic

Day 4: Your view on religion

Oh Lordy (pun intended) let's open up a can of worms!

Alright. My view...

A) For myself- It's called "Agnostic Theism". I do believe there is a higher power out there. However, I do not give the higher power a name (or gender- I would not say He, for example), or a number- I don't know if there is one or multiple. I do, however, believe that there is some sort of higher power in control.

The Agnostic part is that I don't attribute any sort of religious deity to the higher power- it is not "God" or "Allah" or whatever. I don't know what powers it has or does not have. The general meaning of agnostic is "not knowing"- and that's the principle here- we really don't know what's up here. People can Bible thump all day, but the Bible was written by people. Yes, people who say that God was speaking to them (do we know whether this was true?), but people, nevertheless. For me, I will never truly "know" what to believe, and I will not believe in a deity without knowing. I don't know what's up there, and I'm not going to tell anyone else that I know what's up there either. I'm not going to praise anything up there if I don't know what's up there. It's that simple. I don't know what's up there. I won't know what's up there, and neither will anyone else- Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Atheist- until after we've left and cannot come back to tell everyone else.

The theism part is that I do believe there is something up there. I don't know what it is (previous paragraph), and it's hard to praise something if you don't know what it is...but there is something. I do believe in the goodness of people, and that we should do what good we can while we are here on Earth, but I do not attribute that to religion. I do not attribute that to God or any other deity. I attribute that to my beliefs as a human being. Even if I were atheist, I would still be doing good things, because it is in my nature. However, I believe in theism, I believe in higher power, and I do believe that there is something higher in this universe. The extent of the powers of this deity or number of deities, and the characteristics, features, beliefs, wishes, etc., are not mine to theorize about. I will not try to guess what they want- rather, I will live my life, and if it is what they are pleased with, so be it, and if not, so be it. I do believe I am doing the best I can to be a good person. That's the goal I'm aiming for. I'm not aiming to push anyone else to believe this- I'm just aiming to get through life.

I believe there is some sort of place we go after we live, but I don't know what it's like. I don't know if there is a heaven or hell, but I'm pretty certain they exist. They may not be as described in certain books that people look to for everything, but they probably exist. I do believe there have been monumental times in history that have changed the way that man has lived, but I don't know when or how they happened- it could have been any of the myths we hear, stories from the Bible or other books of religion, or it could be something completely different.

As for creationism, a day, month, year, and so forth could be defined completely differently in the terms of whatever deity created the Earth and its inhabitants. It could have fluctuated between longer and shorter time periods, or time could have been massively longer or shorter than it is now. These people living massively long lives in the bible, hundreds of years, could have been living in times when a year was defined as much shorter- after all, look how long it took to get a regular calendar! As for the Big Bang theory, it could have been a part of creation- does this make me a Scientific Agnostic Theist?? The dinosaurs and evolution could have all been a part of a long massive day that whatever deity was testing to figure out what animals were best suited for survival on the planet he was creating...and giving us other planets to explore for fun (who knows what's going through a deity's head?) before creating the regular length we consider a night and day.

Anyone shoot down my theories- go ahead, they're just theories- I'll come up with something else. That's the way I am. I'll find a way to make a new theory. There are so many things that could be true, would be true, might be true. Earth is an endless mass of possibilities. Deities add to that mass, and the fact that nobody can see or know about them outside the realm of human life adds to the great debate. There will never be agreement on the subject- as long as humans have free will, there will be difference in opinion and interpretation.

Honestly, not truly knowing myself, I don't want to say anyone else is wrong, because any of these people could be spouting off the truth, or they could, every single one, be wrong. I don't know, therefore, I can't say. Who am I to follow, when I don't truly know myself? I just know there is something out there, and that's all I need to know. That's all I want to know, that's all I have to know. As long as I keep living life in a positive way, helping people and trying to make things better, I think that's all that matters, really.

B) Other people- I'm not going to tell someone else what to believe. I might tell someone else what I believe, but as far as what they believe, I'm not going to tell them they're wrong, or that they're going to hell. I can't say they're right or wrong. I don't know what they believe, I don't know anything about their deity, I don't know what happens after death, and I can't make any judgments. I won't preach about it. If someone asks me about it, I'll tell them- this is what I believe, this is why, and if you want to believe it, that's ok, if not, that's alright too.

As far as their children go, I believe that people should introduce their children to many religions- Muslim, Jewish, Christian, Catholic, even Agnosticism and possibly Atheism- and see which one they think they like the best. As for choosing a religion, this might be left for older children. One might raise them exploring different religions, letting them see more than just a book, but actually going to services and be involved. This will allow them to see what they're going into- and make an informed decision from there. This way they have the information and the experience they need to make that informed decision, and they don't feel pressured to do so. They should never feel pressured in the decision to follow a certain belief.

They should, though, be given the chance to experience different beliefs, rather than just growing up without the resources. If they don't know what's out there, they can't make an informed decision. The same is true if they only attend Christian churches, and are told they can choose. How can they know about other religions? The education they can receive from attending other churches, or at least meeting people from other religions, can be valuable to them for the rest of their lives, and will also help with acceptance of others (although some parents may go WHOA, I don't want my kid accepting that kid). It is actually a good thing for a child, even if the parent is hesitant. It's exploration, learning, education. It allows for informed decisions and lets the child know that it's ok to believe many different things. It teaches the child that there are many different views out there, and choosing one will be difficult.
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Allowing a child to dabble in religion teaches love, acceptance, culture, perception, and the value of exploration.


Agnostic theism (or...Scientific Agnostic Theism) takes into account that anyone could be right- and it acknowledges that while I believe there is a higher power, I don't know much about it, so I can't say much about it. The scientific part means I can't debunk science, but I can fit science in, because I don't know about the deity's mind, and perhaps they had different perceptions of time and space, and who knows, maybe they did some experimenting of their own. We don't know, and will never know for sure, although anyone can try to tell me what to believe. I'm telling you, I do believe there's something up there! I just don't give it characteristics like you do! I allow for flexibility, and that makes the topic of religion much more comfortable for me.

THOSE- those are my beliefs on religion. Let the wars begin.

Day 3- Pet Peeves

Day 3- Your Top 5 Pet Peeves

Being the overachiever that I am (and the person with a lot of pet peeves) I'll go ahead and list....10.

1) Ice. Why do places always have to fill your drinks with expanded chunks of water, and furthermore, why do people like them so much that they ask for extra and/or chew on them? I'll never understand it. I have to ask for easy ice so I can actually get a substantial amount to drink, instead of a lot of expanded frozen water, and that annoys the heck out of me. Irk.

2) People who think they own the parking lot (and swoop in and grab the parking space you've been waiting for). Assholes...I'm sitting here with my blinker on, obviously waiting for the spot...and you take it? What's your problem? No, I don't have road rage, I'm Texan....

3) When the radio plays new things (particularly Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, or Justin Bieber) ad nauseum. I get the point, they have a new song. Please stop stabbing my eardrums and actually play music, like you were meant to do. Really, it gets old, and it gets old fast.

4) When things break and the wait time for them to fix is longer than a week. Really, do you have to outsource it that far? Do you not have anyone in the state that knows how to fix a problem? What happened to all these technicians that are going to college?

5) Jobs making you go online to apply and not accepting applications any other way, or even phone calls. I mean, I know this makes it easier for them, and it even helps when looking for a place that has openings, but it really makes it difficult to find out what their first impression is of you other than what they see on a screen, and it makes it really makes it difficult to give a first impression other than your application- in fact, you have to make it to the interview to really make any sort of impression aside from having the qualifications.

6) Speaking of jobs and their processes- the character interviews. They don't really tell you much about a person's character anyway. Did you know there are books out there about how to answer those, and people that "leak" how the answers work? Your character interviews are an ineffective and tedious part of the process.

7) People who claim to know things they really don't know (I won't name names here). There are things that don't happen for the reason that you claim they happen. You have backwards thinking. There are things that don't operate the way you say they do. Things have changed a little. Your beliefs are flawed.

8) Speaking of beliefs, voting- people who vote for someone because of the way they look, or because of where they're from- and I know people who do this. "I don't want to vote for someone from the north" or "I don't want to vote for someone white" or "I don't want to vote for someone black" (I've seen it both ways). "I don't want to vote for a woman" or "I don't want to vote for that person because they have a messed up nose"...people, really, is this what matters? I know, I'm not into politics, and I don't vote, because in the end...it's these kind of people that win out, and in my county/locality, my vote doesn't make any difference. If you have a very large group of Republicans, and add in one person who votes (any other way) (I don't have a party), their vote isn't going to make any waves no matter what it is. They aren't going to change the people who are stubborn in their ways, which number many. Stop trying to convince me! And stop voting in stupid ways, and maybe I'll consider it!!

9) Food touching. I don't see how people can just mix all their food together. I must separate them and eat them one at a time. I don't know why, I just must. My parents say when I was young I would "scream bloody murder" when my foods touch. I would still do this, if it was acceptable. However, I know acceptable table (couch?) behavior, and I don't scream, I just try to separate them.

10) Judgmental people. I know it sounds like I'm judgmental sometimes, but I'm not going to love or hate a person based on any of these things. In fact, I can't think of anyone I love or hate. There are some people that grind my gears, but I have a feeling that if I had some time away, it would be less stressful. Even if I dislike someone, most of the time I don't know why, and I tolerate them- they rarely know. There has been one person that I've expressed my dislike to- that I'd rather jump a cliff than see her again- and yet I tolerated seeing her. She stated that I was a very tolerant person, and had I not told her, she probably would not have known that I had such a dislike. Bottom line? Don't judge people, and even if you do, you don't have to make it known to the world, you should still treat them like humans. Better to not judge them at all though. I'm human, I admit I've done it, but it's not a practice I participate in regularly.



I think I could add more, but people might start thinking I'm bitter and have too many pet peeves. They might even start avoiding me. I don't want that to happen! It's actually really difficult to get onto my bad side (oh, spammers aren't on my list, and they should be way up there too....). I'm fairly easy to get along with and accepting. There are people who annoy me >.> They usually know who they are and why, because they instigate it, or they don't know because they really haven't done anything wrong and it's just a quirk of mine, in which case, there's no reason for them to think they've done anything wrong.

Ten Years Time

Today's post will be my 199th post. The next will be number 200, and I've already got something in mind for that, but I've got something else in mind for today.

Yesterday's post was about where I picture myself in 10 years, and I've written other posts about where I picture myself in the future- prompted posts often ask about where we picture ourselves in the future.

But one thing they don't do is look at the past. Ten years ago Sunday is a significant date in the lives of Americans- we, as a country, as a whole, were attacked. Many of us that were old enough to remember do- we were in a classroom, at work, at the gym- it's something that we've related as a story, and there are even songs that ask "Do You Remember?"

I was in freshman choir class, with the most difficult and strict choir director (and probably the best choir) that I ever had. This was the one day we sat down our sheet music and turned on the television. I was 13, almost 14. I hadn't moved to Ft. Worth yet- I lived by the military base Ft. Hood- one of the biggest in the country, and many of my classmates were children of military parents. Yes....I remember.

Ten years ago, on this date, I never would have predicted that America would be attacked. On this writing prompt, had I written it in English class, I probably would have written something like "I want to graduate high school (check) and college (barely check), get a job (not yet), move out of my house (kinda check- different house, but still live with parents)"...basic things.

Things come up in life that we don't expect, and it's hard to prepare for stuff like this. Disasters strike every day- earthquakes, fires (there was one eerily close to my small town recently), floods, tornadoes, attacks, you never know what will happen, or when it will happen. America never knew that on September 11, 2001, they would be the target of an attack. They never knew that ten years later, there would be a memorial of an attack that they never planned on having. If you had asked any American, it wouldn't have been in their itinerary. I certainly wouldn't have had it planned.

We don't plan for disaster- it just happens. It doesn't have to happen, but it does. It doesn't happen to everyone, but it does happen to some, and that's when others reach out. When September 11th happened, there was a burst of patriotism- songs were written, schools had assemblies, security was tightened, and Americans understood (for the most part). Flags came out and were more prominent. If you ask an American about September 11, you can be almost certain that they'll know what you're talking about- even the young ones that weren't around when it happened. It's in the history books, it's in stories, it's in lifelines, and people remember. People talk about it. People read about it.

Now, it's ten years later. Can you believe it's been ten years?

Grateful for the words

This week I'm grateful for the words to be able to say this:

The ability to read
The books that I have to read
Blogs to read
Bloggers who write things I like to read
Paper to write on & a computer to type on
People who read & some of whom appreciate what I write
The ability to make it all out and make it all make sense
The chance to take all this, and turn it into an opportunity to meet people from all over the world, share with them, and grow as a person
Being able to see an entire year as a blogger, realize how much I've grown, how much I've changed, and how much there still is to learn about
The words to be able to say what I need to say, communicate, get things across to someone, be understood, and be able to say "thank you"

This week, I'm grateful for all my bloggy friends & for my blogoversary, I want to thank them for making it all worth so much. I'm grateful for all the reading & writing opportunities that have happened, and everything that's come out of this. Much love to all of you!!

Things I Know- I have a blog

Another mostly lazy week. We did move most of the stuff back into my room, except the crap I'd like to weed through first to pull out the stuff I don't need. No pictures- lots of boxes and mess. Once things are sorted...maybe. There's still a lot of work to be done

Things I know:

• When you have no timeline, you lose track of time. I wrote a calendar for September and started it on the wrong day. Seriously. *facepalm*
• My blogoversary is on Monday. Wheeee!!!!!!!!
• It takes a lot of work to move stuff back into a room...more than it does to move stuff out of a room. Especially when it's the same room. 
• People don't always respond right away. Be prepared for this. It's because people usually have lives. Unlike you, Ashley. Get a life, Ashley!
• It's not very nice to berate yourself. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. See above. 
• I like research. I don't hate research. In fact, I love research. I hate statistics. For the longest time, I thought I hated research, when really, it was the statistics part that I hated. Thank you, Dr. Bron, for helping me sort through this dilemma. Now I can actually say I love research!!! (She sorted it with me on twitter...thanks!!)
• People can care-more than you think- through a computer or phone- overseas or a few states away. The internet has broken down walls, county lines, state lines, and country borders. There are no longer the same boundaries as before- just remember to keep some boundaries. Boundaries are good, just be reasonable. 

And that's all. Being cooped up isn't really doing much for my knowledge. I don't know much more than I did last week. At least I know something....

Huzzah!!!

Day 9: A good memory

Day 9: Something that makes my life easier-

This is a difficult one. As of late, my life is all but "easy"...but it will be simpler soon, once I have my degree. Not to say it will be completely simple, as I won't be licensed or have a job yet, I'll have to work on finding a job and whatnot, but I'll be finished with my degree, and that's a positive.

Something currently that makes my life easier? I'd have to say that the fact that I retain information well definitely makes life easier. I don't remember everything, but I remember a lot of things. When it comes time to remember things, I usually do pretty well, sometimes even under pressure. Surprisingly, I test well. Not as well as I'd always like, but I'm a bit of a perfectionist.

Sometimes, it doesn't work out as an advantage- sometimes, I remember things I don't want to remember. Bad memories are hard to get rid of, and I can't choose which things I remember or forget. I wish it was that easy, but it's not.

Fortunately, for the most part, I remember the things I need and want to remember. If I need to jog my memory, I know how to do so, and that's another thing that makes my life easier- I know how I learn and remember. Of course, explaining it to someone is like explaining to someone why 1 comes after 0, but I have a natural way of reminding myself of things, and usually other people are stuped by it.

It's a good thing usually, having so many memories, being able to look back at them and see things so clearly even a decade later (or longer). I'm glad that I'm able to be able to do so, and I'm glad that I'm able to use my short-term memory to remember the things I need to remember here and now- making my life so much easier when it comes to school, listening to people, completing tasks, writing, and just doing what I need to do.

Here's to a good memory