Grateful For Recently

Whilst I absolutely love blogging, I am absolutely grateful for the break that I took when I wasn't feeling so great in October, then extending it to complete the month and give myself some time to think. I'm grateful for the ideas that this leaves me, although some of the posts will be writing in retrospect to October.

I'm grateful for my parents, whose anniversary was Tuesday 1st November (Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! 25 years together).

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to finally interview for a job, and actually got it (I got the background check back clean today, no surprise there)

I'm grateful that I have a blog where I can share the things I'm grateful for and people actually give me feedback and appreciate what I say (sometimes anyway)....and the 10,000 people that have viewed my blog as of today. I love all of you!

Thankful Thursday- JOB!

This Thursday....I am thankful to finally have a job!

I made it through round 1 of interviewing. My first real interview in a really long time (I don't even know how long). I was nervous but the interviewer said I didn't even look so. Wow!

I made it through round 2 of interviewing yesterday, with an offer for employment. I was still nervous! The interview consisted of "Tell me about yourself". Woah!

Now I'm employed and will have an income, and I didn't hit 2 years of unemployment. Yipee! I'm so thankful for that. I have to do a background check, but I know I'll come out OK. It's a bad economy, and I've been searching and applying forever, and I finally got a job!

Things I know- Reemployed

This is a new, different things I know. One that I haven't been able to write since the inception of my blog last summer. This things I know stems from the fact that I now have a job again.....

• The interview is the most anxiety-ridden part of the job....the job will be stressful because it's the holiday season
• My background check will be clean.
• Working retail wasn't my first choice, but I can make it work
• It'll take away from what I do outside of work
• It'll be nice to finally have a paycheck again, and hopefully this will be the beginning of steady employment again for me

Anticipation and Anxiety

When it came time for me to come back from my bloggy break, I was anxious. I had a lot of anticipation. would I have a lot of new ideas? Would I have a lot to post? Would it be easy to jump back in? Would it be difficult?

Anxiety is something I experience often. When I planned my comeback, I had no anticipation that I would have a job interview...or a second interview...or a job. I knew my parents' anniversary was the first, and after that, I planned to start blogging again. Now I'm gripped with fear- what if I can't keep up again? It's been so long, I'm out of the habit, what will happen?

Plus I'm preparing in anticipation for my impending graduation, a little over a month away. Thanksgiving is approaching in the states, which is a bit of a thing to anticipate because there's always a family hooplah. My birthday is soon after, which has become less exciting. Black Friday is also soon after, which had less significance until my recent acquisition of a job.

Then there's December. My grandparents may be coming down from St. Louis for the event. I've been anticipating it...well, since the day I found out I was getting that piece of paper! Then there's the holiday season, which, of course, will now include retail working hours. There's also the fact that I've been anticipating the licensing exam for social work, which I needed the money to pay for (and will now have, with a job), which I will have to study for. That alone can cause a lot of anxiety!

Of course, it was already going to be an anxious season because of the number of events coming up, but now there's a lot of work tied to it with a retail job, and a lot of cleaning to be done! Anticipation is a good thing, but when you start adding more responsibilities and events, I become more anxious and awkward. Here's to hoping that I have enough time to sort through everything, and continue blogging too!

Coming back...with good news! Huzzah!!

I'm starting my blogging comeback with some excellent news. I just got back from a second job interview today- excellent news is that they've hired me, and for the first time in a few weeks shy of two years, I'll finally have paid employment! It's not the most exciting position, and definitely not lying within the realm of my degree, but it'll help me get there in the long run. I'm a bit nervous and excited all at the same time. They have to run a background check and they'll call me back when everything is set for me to go. How is that for a blogging comeback, aye?

Halloween was a mess! Our neighborhood is normally busy- this year abnormally, as we gave candy to more than 800 trick-or-treaters, and then we ran out of candy, while the streets were still swamped. This means there were often lines down the driveway, as I've seen how busy it can get, and I'm sure many of them weren't actually kids.

Usually, we set up a table outside, because there are so many that we don't even have time to shut the door in between trick-or-treaters because there are so many! This time, even after shutting our lights and bringing our table inside, our doorbell was ringing, but we didn't have the candy to hand out....

Yesterday was my parents' anniversary and we had Olive Garden for dinner. It was excellent. As we were driving home, I my mom asked if I had gotten a call about a second interview yet, which I hadn't, and reminded me to call them. Within 10-15 minutes, my phone was ringing, asking if I wanted to come in for a second interview. I was ready! Now I will finally have an income for the first time in ages, and it seems almost unrealistic!

It's a retail holiday position. Seeing as I've worked at a holiday retailer before, I know the demands of the job and whatnot, so I don't think there are too many surprises in store for me there. They say part time, but that if I work extra shifts, which I am often willing to do, I could end up getting enough hours for full time.

In the next few posts there might be some retrospective posts to October, the month of little blogging. I'm still a bit stuffy and whatnot from allergies from time to time, but it's less than it was before, which is good. It's good to be back.

Huzzah!!!

Things I know- A Month Away

It hasn't been that long, has it? Oh yes, it has. Here's what I know:

• Time...goes by....so slowwwwly....(imagine me singing "Unchained Melody")
• I absolutely hate applying for jobs, especially those character parts of the application that are 50 pages long with 5 questions per page (online) and often ask redundant questions
• A little time away can do a lot of good for your thoughts, and can help spark ideas
• October and pollen are evil, and every year, they attack me and my sinuses. Argh! This is part of the reason I've not been around. Allergies >> Sinus pressure >> headaches >> not wanting to type a lot/think a lot/do a lot.
• Being in the sort of state above makes me look lazy
• My résumé sucks, and probably will for quite a while
• Taking the exam to be a social worker is extremely expensive
• The Rangers better play a better game tomorrow night, or I will be extremely unhappy.

I've jumped on the bandwagon a little bit early with these posts because they're simpler than some of the others, and have a sort of outline which I can follow. I've got a headache right now which is enough to tell me that I am going to stop now, finish facebooking and twitter, perhaps play a few games on my phone, and go to bed. I might make a "Grateful For" post tomorrow, because I already know what I want that one to be about. For now, deuces.

Huzzah!

Things I know

Things I know will be very simple this week.

• Not having a schedule is very annoying
• I need a life
• I also need a job and money
• Being a social worker is expensive even though they don't get paid much
• In order to have something to write about, you have to do stuff. =/

Why, World?

I wrote last week about velocity, and how it feels like time is flying.

Alas, while it seems like time is flying, it feels like the world is moving and shaking without me. Why?

Ever since I graduated from the university, I've been searching for jobs, working on my resumé, and trying to pull everything together for a successful future, but it feels like I'm not going anywhere, while the rest of the world is doing their thing, making their way, going about their business and leaving me behind. Why?

I feel less a part of the world than I ever have before. Why does it have to be this way?

In the past, during breaks and whatnot, I've held jobs, or done extra classes, or something that brings me into interaction with the outside. Now I'm just inside most of the time, with a rare interaction with the outside. These rare interactions are with the same few people. I'm watching the world go by, and it's quite lonely in my little pod, my little corner. Why?

Some might think, and I've been told "Oh, you're being pampered! It must be so much easier! Things must be great for you!" Why would it be this way?

They're not. It's not a great feeling to look around and see everyone's progress while you still have a lump of clay in front of you, completely unmolded, as though you haven't even begun to try, while all the while, you've been working with it, trying to make something that looks real, something that is functional, something that makes sense, something that you like and that you think will be satisfying. It's heartbreaking and difficult to know that you can't keep up with the world in motion, the world passing you by.

Hello world, I wish I could keep up with you....

Day 3- Pet Peeves

Day 3- Your Top 5 Pet Peeves

Being the overachiever that I am (and the person with a lot of pet peeves) I'll go ahead and list....10.

1) Ice. Why do places always have to fill your drinks with expanded chunks of water, and furthermore, why do people like them so much that they ask for extra and/or chew on them? I'll never understand it. I have to ask for easy ice so I can actually get a substantial amount to drink, instead of a lot of expanded frozen water, and that annoys the heck out of me. Irk.

2) People who think they own the parking lot (and swoop in and grab the parking space you've been waiting for). Assholes...I'm sitting here with my blinker on, obviously waiting for the spot...and you take it? What's your problem? No, I don't have road rage, I'm Texan....

3) When the radio plays new things (particularly Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, or Justin Bieber) ad nauseum. I get the point, they have a new song. Please stop stabbing my eardrums and actually play music, like you were meant to do. Really, it gets old, and it gets old fast.

4) When things break and the wait time for them to fix is longer than a week. Really, do you have to outsource it that far? Do you not have anyone in the state that knows how to fix a problem? What happened to all these technicians that are going to college?

5) Jobs making you go online to apply and not accepting applications any other way, or even phone calls. I mean, I know this makes it easier for them, and it even helps when looking for a place that has openings, but it really makes it difficult to find out what their first impression is of you other than what they see on a screen, and it makes it really makes it difficult to give a first impression other than your application- in fact, you have to make it to the interview to really make any sort of impression aside from having the qualifications.

6) Speaking of jobs and their processes- the character interviews. They don't really tell you much about a person's character anyway. Did you know there are books out there about how to answer those, and people that "leak" how the answers work? Your character interviews are an ineffective and tedious part of the process.

7) People who claim to know things they really don't know (I won't name names here). There are things that don't happen for the reason that you claim they happen. You have backwards thinking. There are things that don't operate the way you say they do. Things have changed a little. Your beliefs are flawed.

8) Speaking of beliefs, voting- people who vote for someone because of the way they look, or because of where they're from- and I know people who do this. "I don't want to vote for someone from the north" or "I don't want to vote for someone white" or "I don't want to vote for someone black" (I've seen it both ways). "I don't want to vote for a woman" or "I don't want to vote for that person because they have a messed up nose"...people, really, is this what matters? I know, I'm not into politics, and I don't vote, because in the end...it's these kind of people that win out, and in my county/locality, my vote doesn't make any difference. If you have a very large group of Republicans, and add in one person who votes (any other way) (I don't have a party), their vote isn't going to make any waves no matter what it is. They aren't going to change the people who are stubborn in their ways, which number many. Stop trying to convince me! And stop voting in stupid ways, and maybe I'll consider it!!

9) Food touching. I don't see how people can just mix all their food together. I must separate them and eat them one at a time. I don't know why, I just must. My parents say when I was young I would "scream bloody murder" when my foods touch. I would still do this, if it was acceptable. However, I know acceptable table (couch?) behavior, and I don't scream, I just try to separate them.

10) Judgmental people. I know it sounds like I'm judgmental sometimes, but I'm not going to love or hate a person based on any of these things. In fact, I can't think of anyone I love or hate. There are some people that grind my gears, but I have a feeling that if I had some time away, it would be less stressful. Even if I dislike someone, most of the time I don't know why, and I tolerate them- they rarely know. There has been one person that I've expressed my dislike to- that I'd rather jump a cliff than see her again- and yet I tolerated seeing her. She stated that I was a very tolerant person, and had I not told her, she probably would not have known that I had such a dislike. Bottom line? Don't judge people, and even if you do, you don't have to make it known to the world, you should still treat them like humans. Better to not judge them at all though. I'm human, I admit I've done it, but it's not a practice I participate in regularly.



I think I could add more, but people might start thinking I'm bitter and have too many pet peeves. They might even start avoiding me. I don't want that to happen! It's actually really difficult to get onto my bad side (oh, spammers aren't on my list, and they should be way up there too....). I'm fairly easy to get along with and accepting. There are people who annoy me >.> They usually know who they are and why, because they instigate it, or they don't know because they really haven't done anything wrong and it's just a quirk of mine, in which case, there's no reason for them to think they've done anything wrong.

Things I Know- Not Feeling Well

Another uneventful week, really. The things I write this week are completely random because...well, that's the way my life is getting. Let's get this going, because I'm starting to feel like I don't know much just writing this post.

• I know that I like new things (like my mattress and my class ring) but I know that I can't always have them
• I know that I want all the stuff cleaned out of my room so things can at least go back to semi-normal
• I know that it's not resting that is making my head hurt- it's something in my nose-sinus-whatever area. 
• I know that there will be a lot of memorials this weekend (September 11th)
• I know that some people are EFFING HYPOCRITES AND HYPOCRITES GET ON MY NERVES and I shouldn't say any more about that, although I'll probably get asked about it. >.>
• I know that I love music.
• I know that a lot of jobs are going to turn me down now because I'm "overqualified" even though I'm just one piece of paper different than I was a month ago. Whatever. 
• I know that someone will probably cow upon reading this, but I also know that I've stopped caring what certain people think about what I write here because it's my blog and I can talk about what I want to talk about.

And that's it. I'm in a bit of an ill mood, too, to go along with this, so I'm going to shut it down here. I'm also feeling sick like I should lie down, although my parents would say it just means I should go out, because you feel sick if you don't go out enough. >.> Maybe I'll feel better next week? Let's hope so...

Thirty Three and a Traumatized Dog

Day 2: Where you'd like to be in ten years

Well, in ten years, I'd certainly like to be far past where I am right now. I'll be thirty-three (that one, I have no choice in the matter). I'd like to be finished with my Masters' degree, and have my license and a stable career. Of course, since I don't see myself with anyone, I'm not particular about where I'd live- perhaps a nice small place in suburbia- I actually quite like suburbia. It's not so far away from town that you are completely isolated from everything, but it's not at the core of everything, where there's constantly hustle and bustle, and you never get to rest.

That, really, sums up where I'd like to be in ten years.

Our poor dog got traumatised today, and it's partially my fault...poor thing.

You see, every once in a while, he'll get in the habit of coming into my room and jumping onto my bed. Typically, he doesn't jump on furniture, so this is unusual. He's never been the type to jump on furniture much- which is good, because he's a big dog.

Well, today my parents got me a new mattress (the other was probably older than I am....it was about time for it to retire). I'm quite pleased with it. Goober (the dog), on the other hand...well, not so much. He sized my room up, knowing something was different, when he came in, but nevertheless gave a running leap at my bed. He didn't realise that it sits about a half foot higher than it did before...and he landed square in the middle of his chest, with this face that...I don't know how to describe. It was funny and pitiful all at the same time.

He turned tail and ran out of my room. I tried to call him back, and I was going to sit on the floor with him, but when he turned the corner and saw my bed again, he turned around and ran. He hasn't come back this direction since then. I think I traumatised him, and I feel awful about it...but I can't help but laugh at the pitiful face he made when he landed, paws flailed to the sides, halfway on the bed. Is it bad that I wish I had a camera to catch the face he made at that moment?

Hopefully, someday, he'll overcome his fear and be able to once again brave coming into my room to see me on occasion....it'll be difficult to adjust to, poor thing. I keep finding myself trying to sit on the lower bed, so it's unusual for me too, but I'm not having any trauma from it...but I also didn't land like he did. I also didn't end up the subject of a blog because of my facial expression after landing on the bed. As a memory, I'll add a picture of him on my old bed, after my initial shock of seeing him, the first time he ever came in my room, also the first time I ever saw him jump on a piece of furniture.

Things I Know- I have a blog

Another mostly lazy week. We did move most of the stuff back into my room, except the crap I'd like to weed through first to pull out the stuff I don't need. No pictures- lots of boxes and mess. Once things are sorted...maybe. There's still a lot of work to be done

Things I know:

• When you have no timeline, you lose track of time. I wrote a calendar for September and started it on the wrong day. Seriously. *facepalm*
• My blogoversary is on Monday. Wheeee!!!!!!!!
• It takes a lot of work to move stuff back into a room...more than it does to move stuff out of a room. Especially when it's the same room. 
• People don't always respond right away. Be prepared for this. It's because people usually have lives. Unlike you, Ashley. Get a life, Ashley!
• It's not very nice to berate yourself. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. See above. 
• I like research. I don't hate research. In fact, I love research. I hate statistics. For the longest time, I thought I hated research, when really, it was the statistics part that I hated. Thank you, Dr. Bron, for helping me sort through this dilemma. Now I can actually say I love research!!! (She sorted it with me on twitter...thanks!!)
• People can care-more than you think- through a computer or phone- overseas or a few states away. The internet has broken down walls, county lines, state lines, and country borders. There are no longer the same boundaries as before- just remember to keep some boundaries. Boundaries are good, just be reasonable. 

And that's all. Being cooped up isn't really doing much for my knowledge. I don't know much more than I did last week. At least I know something....

Huzzah!!!

Day 20: Learning through Experience

Day 20: Something You Wished You'd Forget

Well, with the memory I have, there are a lot of things I'd rather forget that I really don't forget.

There are a few things that have happened that I'd really rather forget, and etching them into a blog makes them more real, more tangible, and they'll be here to haunt me on the interwebz forever.

Working for Unidentified Food Chain, I was really unhappy, and had some really unpleasant experiences, but I worked my way through it. Working for Big Circle Box Store, I wasn't necessarily happy, but I don't think I had any experiences that I'd rather forget. My internship? The only thing I'd rather forget is the ending. In fact, I did get to share some experiences there, and it was helpful, I found. It was great. I loved the feeling.

Overall, I wouldn't say that things are bad, they really aren't all that bad at all. I've had isolated things happen that were bad enough that I'd rather forget them, such as my car accident in 2010, or some of the things that happened at Unidentified Food Chain. My first few years of college were pretty rocky, and just being myself in itself has been a rocky experience. In high school some not-so-wonderful things happened, but I was able to persevere and deal with them. Bits of my memory are littered with things I don't want to remember, as well as some I would like to remember.

I think, though, that those things that I'd rather forget have probably taught me a lot of lessons that I needed to learn. Things happen for a reason. I mean, I'd rather forget them, but concealed to most, they've taught me lessons that I wouldn't have otherwise been able to learn, or that would have otherwise been more difficult to learn. That's not to say I'm happy that horrible things happen- I'm certainly not! It's the perseverance that got me through them, and finally being able to overcome the obstacles, seeing the lessons that I've learnt from them, and realizing why I went through what I did, that makes me realize that it wasn't all just torture.

Yes, I'd like to forget a lot of things. But, in forgetting those things, I'd be forgetting a lot of life lessons, and I don't want to have to go back and learn them all again. I definitely know a lot more than I used to know, and I'm glad I know the things that I know. I'm glad to share the knowledge I have (without going too far into my experiences). It's part of what makes me who I am, and what has brought me to the point where I am in life.

Huzzah!

Things I know- Lazy Week Edition 1

And a lazy week it has been. I've looked for jobs, but they've been few and far between that I've met even *most* of the qualifications for. I found one that I met the majority of the qualifications, but fell short on one. It's disheartening. Without further adieu...

• Qualifications are qualifications. If you're missing one, you're missing one. They don't want you.
• Texas is still really hot. We're probably going to break that record for number of 100+ days in one single summer.
• Doing the same thing every day gets boring
• Having a bookshelf fall on your arm smarts
• It will take a lot of effort to move everything out of my room for re-carpeting...and apparently, that's happening next week.
• When you have something to write about, you blog a lot more often.
• I will have new carpet in a week
• Jobs in the market really are scarce. My situation really doesn't help. I really am screwed. They lied to me. I feel cheated.

And that concludes Things I Know for this week. Tune in next week for...probably more of the same. I might be relocated to somewhere else in the house for this encounter, as we will be in the re-carpeting process, or, if they're done by Thursday, I may have new carpet by then. Don't know if I'll be back at home base yet or not. We'll see.

Huzzah!

Lack of Structure

I'm feeling a little unsettled right now, even though I don't have a whole lot going on in my life...and that's probably a good portion of the reason why.

For so much of my life, I've always had something going on...whether it was school, or a job, or an extracurricular activity, it seems there was almost always something to do, and now that I'm grasping for straws, without a license and grades yet to be released, I feel sort of in a panic.

How do people who don't have something structuring their life day to day handle it? I mean, even moms have something to structure their lives around (children), but I don't have that. I have nothing to structure my life around.

The few potential I-might-apply-for-this-job places that I've found have had so many qualifications and I've lacked one, and I've been so terrified they'd throw me out because I lack that one thing that I haven't moved yet. I don't have the final grades. I don't have the license. I don't have anyone or anything to structure myself around, and I'm not used to that.

Thus, I have not much to write about. My blog is starting to lack content due to the lack of stimulation, structure, and activity. I thought it might be relaxing, but it's not at all relaxing...on the contrary, it's stressful, and it makes me want to hide in bed all day (which doesn't help the situation).

On the Market

So, now that my university life is essentially complete, but grades are not officially out, my degree is not official, and I don't have a license yet, what am I to do? Well, since the answer is not to lie around the house....I have no clue.

I know that I need to study for my licensing exam, that is a must. In addition, I'd like to do some volunteering that is actually related to my field, but, that doesn't really do anything as far as $$$ is concerned, but it does cost me $$$ as far as travel and whatnot, and isn't required, so it's kind of...not considered the best idea right now.

So what do I do? Well, I've been told to get a job. An unrelated job. Just to "get myself on my feet." I don't know about this idea. Honestly, fresh out of college, what place is going to want to hire me for something completely unrelated to my degree? I'm not sure. Plus, when it comes to the "Why do you want to work here?" part of the interview...if I get that far...how do I respond? I don't know if they're oversimplifying my situation...or if I'm overcomplicating it.

So what does one do when they're in this space between graduation and a license? Actually, what does one do when they're not in school and don't have a job? I've not really been in this situation before, so it's a little confusing for me. Unexplored territory. I don't know if I should apply for entry-level jobs to fill the gap, or if I should apply for other jobs that may or may not ask for licensure, or if I should volunteer, or what I should do. I feel pressured to do something now, but I don't know what.

And the working world isn't what it used to be. You don't go out and fill out applications. You don't walk into a place and ask if they're hiring. You go to their website and fill out the employment application online. If you walk into a place and ask if they're hiring, they'll just redirect you to the website. Even if you ask to speak to HR, they'll redirect you to the website. Very, very few places actually have paper applications anymore, and even fewer actually have people available on site that will talk to you. Even if you ask for them by name, typically they're "in a meeting" or "off site" or "busy" and "will call you later" if you ask to speak to them and they allow you to leave a number. It's so hard to get anything face to face... Even since I first started working my first job, things have changed a lot, and that wasn't really that long ago.

I just....feel lost. I'm in a place of uncertainty, I haven't completely gotten my degree yet until grades have been finalized and whatnot and debts have been fulfilled, I don't have my license, no leads on any social work jobs, no networking, and since so many things are becoming less face-to-face, it's really difficult to get out there and get started. They certainly don't make this easy...

Day 12: Make it all right

Day 12: Something you are OCD about- Mom, dad, I know you'll see the timestamp on this, but this is a scheduled post- yes I can do this, and yes, I will show you how if I need to. I wrote it in the afternoon on the 12th.

My parents will laugh. My sister will too. They all call me a germaphobe (actually, that would be a mysophobe...but I digress).

I'm OCD about a lot of things, but not everything. I do have a way of order about a lot of things, and even in what might seem like a chaos (my room for instance), there is a way about which everything goes. I've been told I have it once, or twice, maybe a few times, but not right now. Of course, people with whom I work or study like to point it out too, and they really catch on quick, even without me saying anything.

So, I have to pick something that I'm really OCD about. Really? Let's see...how about some examples?

When I was at school, and I had to cross the road using the turning signals, I had to use an object to press the button, not once, not twice, but three times. Yes, three. I set my alarm three times every night, whether it was already set or not (although sometimes this proves to be unuseful, when my unconscious mind turns it off...or this is the only explanation I can come up with when I wake up and it's not set, since I have one that goes back to the settings after power outages).

If I can't finish a book within a few days, I have to start over. Completely. I can't put a book down and come back to it a few days later. Absolutely cannot. I also cannot start a song in the middle (so if a radio song comes on, I would prefer to go to a station that is just starting a song, and I get all jumpy if it's in the middle of a song, but I do feel a little relief if it's toward the end of a song). I try to keep my reaction to a minimum. I'm pretty good at it.

I don't sit between two people. If we're in a vehicle, I sit in the front sit or on the drivers' side, or I'm awkwardly uncomfortable. So much so as to shift and often complain and yes, get OCD about it. Again, I try not to say anything. I try to be polite.

During a shower, or when getting in my car, or brushing my teeth, or when getting dressed/ready to go somewhere, I always have to do things in the right order. Otherwise, I fret and worry the whole time that the day will be completely ruined because I did something out of order. Pitiful really, because in my rational mind, the mind that took psychology many times over, I know that won't happen, but the truth can't block out the way I feel. I also eat things in a certain order, and my foods can't touch. If they do, I eat around the places they touch.

The food thing...that's been since I was a kid. I hear tales from the parental units about how when I was younger, I would scream bloody murder if my foods touched each other, or about how they ordered a pizza, and it was square, and I refused to eat it, because it was not pizza, because it was not round.

Obsessions? I obsess about everything. My grades right now. My blog. My klout. My twitter. My clothes (believe it or not). My job (or lack thereof, for the past few years). My handwriting. I've gone back and rewritten entire assignments because I wrote one letter the wrong way. I keep things. I literally took a tape measure to my wall when we moved in to hang the plaques I got in middle school, and I would have taken a level, if we had one, but instead, I just measured the bottom of each one, and made each end equidistant from the top of the bay window. Literally.

I could go on for days. I think I'll stop. I have a lot to go on. I think I could write a book on it. For now, I think this is sufficient!

Things I Know- Transition Edition

As many of you probably already know, and have been hearing about for months on end, I finished the last of my courses today. Of course, the world has a lovely way of flipping me the bird on really important days, and laughing at me by coming up with the worst possible punishments, making me stress out more than I probably should, and it seems like everything goes wrong, but in the end, things somehow turn out, for the most part, OK. Today did. Thankfully. I don't know my grades yet, but I've finished everything. So, for the future, these are the things I know that I'll be using....

I know I (now) have a college education, but that doesn't mean I know everything

I know that I can finish things

I know that I have the capability to do what I want, if I put my mind to it

I know that, in three months, I might have my license

I know that all things take time

I know that I've got a long road ahead of me

I know that life won't be easy just because I have a piece of paper

I know that I still will have to work for things, they won't be handed to me

I know I still have responsibilities, even in the down time when I don't have a job or license

I know that I'll eventually have a job, but it may not be the exact one I want

I know that not all things in life are easily obtained (i.e. degrees)

I know that I will have to continue to learn and gain insight (well, that and I would have to in order to keep a license if I get one, anyway)

I know that I love social work

I know I kind of wrote it last minute, but I had a lot to do in prep for finals and writing a paper, so I hope that kind of waives my writing in advance duties. I did write other stuff though...so maybe I should have included this? No, I think this is better that I did it after instead of before. I like that I'm doing it now. After the fact.

Thanks for tuning in for "Things I know- Transition Edition"

Next week, I will probably be dying from boredom, anhedonia, and a week of résume writing, checking, application writing, job hunting, etc. I may be a bit cynical. =/

A sincere note

I sincerely hope my newest follows are reading this- it's going to explain some of why I'm not following yet/responding to much, but will later...and older readers, I've included some information you just might be interested in. Or it may be repetitive.

First, I have to apologise to those I haven't been responding to- give me until this weekend, and I promise, there will be response. I'm finishing my last class, psychology. I have a case study to write, which I'm extremely nervous about, and our final exam is also this week. Basically, this week is worth 1/2 of our whole 5-week grade. What I've done so far stacks up as pictured below:

I guess that's not so bad. Of course, it neglects to include the final (100 pts) and the case study (100 pts), and the last quiz...but they drop one quiz. Am I that concerned over the 23/25? Maybe. Yea, ok, I'm still taking quiz 5. So far, I have a pretty good grade, but there are still 200 points yet to be determined. Even if I get a perfect grade on my paper, I'm not in the clear, because there's still 25% of my grade to be determined by the final exam. Even if I do perfect on the multiple choice, that's only a 75% on the final, I'll be lacking 25 points...OK, now I'm being way too overanalytical.

And until the final exam is over, I want to mostly focus on that and the case study, and blogging is kind of my "break" from schoolwork. Anyone who follows me this week (including this past weekend)- I'm not ignoring you, I promise, I'm just finishing everything so I can get my degree. Seriously- if I do well this week, I'll have my bachelor's degree. In a way, that makes me want to panic. Actually, in many ways. If you go back a few blogs, I wrote about it (here), which, funny enough, leads you to a gamut of other blogs where I wrote about how excited I had been. Now that I can count on one hand how long I have left, I'm really panicking. O.o So just give me some time, Thursday is my final. After Thursday, I'll take Friday to relax and decompress, then I'll be back, hopefully. I'll be putting in job apps, of course, but I'll also have spare time (WTF?!?! really?)

Otherwise, I'll be keeping up with the 30 days posts (next one coming right after I finish this), and just trying to keep up with everything. No major structural changes this week, nothing special, nothing profound unless something extremely pertinent hits me, and I might not follow you until I'm done with school, so don't think it's because I don't like you. Seriously.

All my love,

Freshman

As I'm finishing this week, I'm going into some retrospect as to how I got where I am today, and the first thing I think back to is the beginning of my college experience.

This is where it all began, 6 years ago, almost to the day. Same university, I even remember the first classes I took. At the time I was working at a fast food chain- for the sake of said chain, let's call it FFC (fast food chain). I'm laughing at that. Those who know me probably are too. I had just received my drivers' license less than a month before I started commuting there every day, and, the joy of everyone who wears orthodontia, I had just gotten my braces removed.

August 2005.

It seems like so long ago, but relatively, it wasn't. So much has changed since then.

It was my first year of college. I was in the honors college, after graduating second in my class and having an above average SAT score, and I had a stable, but not all that great, full-time job at FFC. I started out with honors Calculus, honors Biology (which I later dropped, after the realization that I was not at all a science person), a freshman honors class, and some other class I really don't remember.

I was a busy person, and I didn't know what kind of sucker-punch I was in for. After 2 semesters, I was kicked out of the honors college, and I lost my scholarship after 3. High school doesn't prepare you for college. Nothing prepares you for college except starting college.

The classes are different. The professors are nothing like your teachers. The expectations are different. You have more freedom. You're not required to attend class, but it's recommended, and it definitely helps. You get a lot more out of the experience if you participate. You can go to class in your pajamas. You can eat and drink in class, and bring your laptop for notes (usually).

I, of course, was still in high school mode. I went to every class, even my 8am honors Calculus class through rush hour traffic in Ft. Worth. I worked my FFC job at night. Often I spent most of my evening at work, working until 11 or midnight, so that I could go home and do homework, and wake up again as early as 4-5am.

What I Learnt:

1) The routine got old. I learnt along the way that you actually don't have to sign up for 8am classes- they actually offer classes all day. It's better to choose classes that are more suitable for your sleeping and waking schedule, otherwise, you'll be less motivated to attend, which leads me to...

2) Motivation is key. If you're not motivated in the class, it will be a brutal semester, and you will have to force yourself to do the work. If you love the class, it will be much easier to complete the work you have to do because you'll actually like what you're doing. That doesn't mean you can skip the class, which leads me to...

3) Don't skip class. Really. The professors sometimes say that they don't give a flying flip whether you attend class, but really, your grade is at stake. If you really think you can skip all the classes and pass, you should have CLEP'd out of the class anyway, instead of paying to take it. Attending class is really important, and often you miss more material if you don't go. It helps to make the material sink in more easily. Some professors even consider upping marginal grades for good attendance. Remember that the next time you reach for that snooze button.

4) Parking will be bad, no matter what school you go to. Get used to it. Parking lots will be full, they will create increasing faculty lots. Think of it as exercise. Some people have problems with the "Freshman 15"....maybe this will help combat that. Plus, it'll give you some time to think, and learn how to navigate campus and dodge traffic. Always a plus....

5) Take good notes. It's a good way to get people who want to study with you. Don't be the one looking for people with good notes, because the ones with good notes will probably want to avoid you. So...errr...maybe you should take good notes secretly or something. Don't be a magnet. Don't do all the work on group projects.

6) Remember some of the stuff you're learning. It's actually kind of useful. I've found myself reciting facts I learnt in some other class and I'm like "woah, I actually did learn something useful in there!" There is something to take from almost every class. You may not think so, but there is a reason for every class.

7) Depending on your major, learn APA or MLA formatting really quickly. I have, on my jump drive, a document that is already APA formatted (running head, margins, page numbers, title page, and whatnot) so that I can just input the information I need. This has been extremely helpful, so that I don't have to go through and try to remember how I edit the individual running heads on each page. Since I'm doing social work, most of my documents will be APA. Usually, you know by the end of your 1st year of classes which format most of your papers will be in. If you can't figure it out, the library almost always has someone who can help you, and most college campuses even have a writing center that can help you out with this. Use your resources. They're there for a reason!! (also, learn the difference between their, they're, and there, as well as your and you're...these are very common mistakes).

8) When you must do group projects, which you will at one point or another, make sure to get names and phone numbers of each group member, and archive any contact with them, for your purposes. This way, if they don't communicate, you have record of it. If they communicate poorly, or tell you they don't "want" to do something, you have record of it. This can be helpful when going through the process, and make sure you keep in touch with the professor if you have any problems.

9) You absolutely must have a jump drive, and this thing will be your savior. I even have a follower, who will go unnamed, who can attest to this. She had a computer crash while printing out a paper, and was able to take the jump drive to another computer and print it out. It saves your files, and it is helpful during presentations, rather than pulling up your email account in front of the class to open a presentation. It also holds lots of information, and it's easy to carry. It plugs into a USB port, and is compatible with the majority of computers (but make sure they don't require encryption as major corporations do, otherwise it will mess up your drive). They don't usually cost much, often less than $10, and they last forever. Get one.

These are just some of the things I wish I had known my freshman year of college. I stumbled my way through college, not having many people to turn to for advice in my family, and not having any friends that had been through the process. Eventually, I got through it, and learnt how things work, and now I'm close to graduation, so close that I can feel it breathing down my neck. I have a lot of apprehension about it, and it's been quite a journey. There's so much more I could write about it, but for now, I'll just "save it for later".

Deuces